gfbaby

philippines vacation

2011-11-26T01:08:00.001+01:00

at dinner, daddy told me that alex was crying in kindergarten. so i asked alex why, and her story goes something like this...

alex told her friends in kindergarten that she will be going to philippines for a long time. now one of her friends was crying and telling everyone that alex will not be coming back. so alex was crying with her friend, saying that she doesn't want to go for a long time. i was surprised, because ever since we mentioned the vacation she's been too excited. she asks me from time to time if we can go already. and when she finally understood that we will be going after christmas, she began waiting for christmas. so i asked her why she doesn't want to stay longer in philippines. her reply was, "but i only want to go to philippines to eat fried banana, cheese whiz, and stuff like that that we don't have here."

you see, fried bananas are really a big thing for her. :))

the family that prays together...

2011-11-26T00:49:00.001+01:00

our family prays before every meal. sometimes, when the biglets are too hungry, they come running to the table and asks if they can start eating already. my standard reply is to wait until we have said our prayer. it worked for some time and then the biglets became smarter.

now instead of asking if they can eat first. they just go on and pray by themselves so that they can eat ahead. so one time, i told alex that we should wait until everyone is at the table because "the family that prays together, stays together."

now karol, having very little self control would run to the table and tell me that he wants to eat already. then he would start doing the sign of the cross, bring his hands together and then say, "i prayed already!" and then start eating. (note: he still doesn't know the prayer.) alex, not wanting to be outsmarted, told karol, "karol, the family that doesn't pray together will not stay together. so you should wait if you want to stay with the family."

kite festival @ schloss hof

2011-10-02T22:14:00.000+02:00

sunday: after church we went to eurovea for lunch and then went straight to schloss hof for the kite festival.

we didn't bring our own kite, so we had to buy one on site and it wasn't cheap. eventhough we had to also pay for entrance to the castle grounds, it was well worth it. the kids had fun. alex had a chance to really fly the kite. as for karol... well, he held it for two minutes and entertained himself with other things like riding a parked golf car hehehe. andy on the other hand explored on her own by crawling from our base to until we caught up with her. we bring her back and then she starts off again.

when it was almost time to go home, the wind started getting crazy and brought our kite down over the very tall bushes. took some time to untangle it. daddy had to carry me on his shoulders so i could work on untangling it. in the end, we managed to save the dearly expensive kite. after taking some pix we drove thru macdonald's and went back home.

now all piglets are asleep. what a great sunday! :)

bless all the whole world

2011-09-24T00:53:00.000+02:00

bed time for the biglets (i.e., alex and karol) is always "interesting." they already have a pretty regular routine. am i being redundant? :D anyways after dinner, there's bath time, fairy tale time, story reading time, and praying time.bath time can really be fun... or NOT!

daddy, gives them bath or shower, depending on what the biglets like, or what daddy is feeling up to. sometimes, there would even be a contest (read: fight) on who will go first. but usual order is andy, karol and alex. youngest to oldest. it's also a question whether they would want to watch the local fairy tales on tv called "vecernicek" before or after bath . it's a never ending negotiation really. it's all a matter of timing, but these biglets argue a lot, that sometimes they would even miss it in lieu of not listening.

watching the fairy tales are not enough. they would still ask daddy to read them a story or two. again, arguments follow whether one or two stories, who will choose the story, short or long story, etc., etc.... sigh! just thinking about it makes my head spin. but when at last daddy decides that they deserve to be read a story, they would still keep asking for more than agreed. it's funny and exhausting at the same time. you really have to pack a lot of patience with these two.

lastly, there's prayer time. alex had memorized the prayer. karol on the other hand usually says just the last words of each line. and sometimes, when we forget to make them pray, karol would get up from bed again, come to us to the living room and say, "i want you to help me to pray." it's kinda sweet, eventhough we know he's just using every excuse to get out of bed. anyways, at the end of the prayer we taught them to pray "bless ___" (each one of us) and at the end they say "bless all the whole world" (sic).

alex had long learned how to improvise. sometimes, when she's in the mood, she blesses a very long list of people. the usual favorites are their grand parents. however, karol was still too young, the last time we went home to philippines, to fully remember my parents. so one time, daddy told me this story when he was helping both biglets to pray together. on the part where they have to bless everyone, karol didn't mention my parents. alex, always helpful, told karol... "karol, if you bless inay, she will give you fried banana!"

august 2011

2011-09-19T12:41:00.001+02:00

august album updated and completed. :) separate albums created for the high tatras trip, that's why there's not so many for this month. but this one includes a trip to cerveny kamen, issy's bday party and the FAB pool party. here are also last few pix of lola viela before she went back to ph.

High Tatras Day - Popradske Pleso

2011-08-24T13:32:00.000+02:00

Day 4: The tram station is just a stone throw away from our hotel. So, we took the tram from Strbske Pleso to Popradske Pleso, which is just one stop away. Then we hiked what seemed like forever to Popradske Pleso. the road was asphalted, but was winding and steep on most parts. We reached our destination just in time for lunch. It was very tiring but the view was really stunning. The kids had a little time to "rest" in the small playground. The hike down was much better and luckily caught the tram back to the hotel.

High Tatras - Skalnate Pleso

2011-08-24T00:34:00.000+02:00

Day 3: Rode the cable car up to Skalnate Pleso. Sadly, we didn't get tickets for the cable car to Lomnicky Stit. Took a walk around the lake, which again, Karol didn't care much for. The kids, enjoyed the playground after lunch. The biglets, myself and Lola took the ski lifts to Lomnicke Sedlo. It was quite cold and windy at the top. And just as we were about to start hiking, the rain started. So we decided to go back down instead.

High Tatras - Mala Studena Dolina

2011-08-24T00:33:00.000+02:00

Day 2: We took the funicular cable car from Stary Smokovec to Hrebienok. Then from there, we followed the trail to the small water falls. Kids walked by themselves, except for Andy of course. :D It's the second time that Alex walked this trail. Karol was here before on a back carrier 2 years ago. He didn't care much for walking this time. But we made it with just a bit of crying in the river. Walked back and had lunch in Hrebienok, and back to Stary Smokovec via cable car. Finished off the trip with a cake and coffee (chocolate for me) at the local cake shop.

High Tatras - Strbske Pleso

2011-08-24T00:32:00.001+02:00

Day 1: Arrived mid-afternoon just in time to check-in to our hotel. Dropped our bags, unpacked and went straight to go boating in Strbske Pleso.

it's just the beginning...

2011-08-08T23:58:00.002+02:00

to buy or not to buy a house/land?
kittsee or bratislava?
to renovate or build a new house?
to sell the apartment or get a mortgage?

these were just a few questions we've been trying to answer. after a long time of waiting and decision making, we finally found and bought a house in kittsee. the house is very old but the land is quite big. in less than two hours after viewing it, we decided to buy it. luckily our loan was approved, and after a couple of months or so we got the keys to our future home.

we've visited the site several times, but only to show it to family and friends. the house needs a lot of work. today was the first time we actually started working on it. we planned to clean it up a bit and have the experts have a look.

the idea is to first make it livable as a summer house with a little bit of re-painting here and there, and some... then slowly start the renovations in 5 or 10 years from now, depending on the budget. :D it's a long time to go, but we, and by that i mean i, could already picture our dream home.

in the morning we started cleaning. mostly, it involved throwing out the things the previous owner left behind plus a little bit of sweeping and dusting. it was at least a start and it felt good.

in the evening, we met with hubby's uncle who is actually a contractor. i was really excited with this meeting. we wanted him to have a look at the place and give us ideas as to what we can or cannot do with the place. being the expert that he is, he had lots of ideas and suggestions, but sadly, not the kind that we've expected. he told us that it's just his initial assessment and it's just brainstorming. in spite of this, i know that what he told is also realistic. so realistic in fact that i felt like my dream house suddenly collapsed. :(

sigh! what a tiring day! we will be meeting again in two days. i don't know if anything will change. but for now, we'll first focus on our short term goal and clean up the place, try to make it homey for the summer months, and let the kids enjoy the enormous lawn.

bus 66

2011-08-03T11:00:00.004+02:00

in the morning, i was driving the biglets to kindergarten. we were waiting for the traffic lights to turn green when i saw bus 66 pulling away from the stop ahead of us. seeing the back of the bus instantly brought back fond memories from 2004.

the hotel we used to stay in is just two bus stops away. it's the very same bus we used to ride to go to work. most often than not, we have to run just to catch the bus. otherwise, we'll all be late if we wait for the next one.

one time, just as we were turning from the corner, we saw our bus pulling away. then everyone (imagine ten, if not more, asians) started running and flailing their arms like crazy to call on to the driver. it must have been a sight for these slovaks who are not so used to seeing asians, much more a flock of them. anyways, surprisingly, the driver stopped to let us in.

everyone was scrambling to get in when i suddenly got a phone call. it was matej! turned out he was driving by on his way to work. he saw us and told me he could give me a ride. i was already halfway up the bus but he insisted i stay, so i did. i could still see the look of surprise on my friends' faces when the bus finally pulled away. yes, the open-mouthed kind of look! :))

the car arrived just a few moments before the bus. i didn't have time to explain to anyone but when everyone saw us HHWW to office, everyone understood. i couldn't see them behind me, but i felt like all eyes were on us and could feel the blood rushing to my face. we just started dating back then, and some of my colleagues didn't even know it until then.

i don't know why i suddenly got so nostalgic. could have been the corrs singing, or that hubby is away for a week. but one thing i'm sure about, that was one kilig moment i will not forget. :)

of tummy's and sweets

2011-07-23T10:01:00.004+02:00

you know something is wrong when your daughter (a.k.a. alex) tells you, while looking at your tummy, "mommy, you look like you're going to have another baby!" :O

then about a couple of weeks after that...

alex: mommy, do you already have an idea?
mommy: idea about what?
alex: a name! a name for your next baby!

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!! i had this problem for a long time when people mistake me of being pregnant, having a big tummy. but coming from my daughter!!!?! golly!

--o0o--

i just woke up and alex asked me what is my favorite sweet thing. i didn't even think about it, just thought it should be cakes... cheese cake of course! then i realized she already made a poll and is already about to give me the results as follows:

"yours and daddy's favorite sweet thing is cheese cake. lola's is chocolate cake. karol's is green lollipop, mine is pink candy and andy's is RICE."

we really found it so funny that daddy, told me at once to publish it.

i understand where alex is coming from. andy usually eats and finishes her meals ahead of everyone. so when it's time for everyone else to eat, she looks pitiful and left out and starts complaining/demanding. the only way to satisfy her is to give her the only thing she likes -- RICE!!! :)

how much of philippines have i seen (C-)

2011-06-22T23:59:00.001+02:00

My Lakbayan grade is C-!

How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out at Lakbayan!

Created by Eugene Villar.

schonbrunn gardens and imperial zoo

2011-05-22T02:06:00.000+02:00

revisiting schonbrunn. this time, we spent most of the time in the zoo. had to run from one end to another just to catch the feeding time of the pandas. luckily we caught them and met with the bernardos. they went home shortly after the meet and we continued on to see the rest of the animals. what a tiring day! but we made the most out of it.

april 2011

2011-05-22T01:56:00.001+02:00

updated april album... new pix added

on work, money, food and skeleton

2011-04-11T15:02:00.004+02:00

today karol had to stay home again. while having snack with alex, he suddenly realized that daddy is not around.

karol: mommy, where is daddy?
mommy: in the office.
karol: why?
mommy: because he has to work.
karol: why?

alex: so that he can earn money.
karol: why?
alex: so that he can buy food for us. so we can eat. otherwise, if we don't eat, then we will become skeleton. and when we become skeleton, then we cannot move.

mommy, was just speechless... i know i tried to explain the concept of work and money to her but didn't realize she has this whole picture in her head. i really have to be careful with my words. :D

why?

2011-03-14T17:44:00.003+01:00

i heard another conversation between alex and karol. alex was telling karol some story as usual. probably, to check whether karol understood, alex started asking him...

alex: karol, do you know why?
karol: yes!
alex: so, tell me why!
karol: why!
alex: do you know why?
karol: yes!
alex: so, tell me why!
karol: why!
alex: tell me why!
karol: why!

q & a

2011-03-05T20:39:00.002+01:00

lately, karol and alex are always fighting and arguing. after we finished lunch, i was rocking andy to sleep when i heard alex and karol playing quietly in their bedroom. this was so refreshing that i got curious and watched them from afar.

alex was animating some story about dora, boots and isa (from dora the explorer) using her mega blocks figures. karol was intently listening to alex while watching the small figures. the story then turned into a question and answer game which went something like this...

alex: karol, do butterflies have slippers?
karol: yes!
alex: nooooooooo! do butterflies have flower antennas?
karol: yes!
alex: nooooooooo! do butterflies have wings?

karol was about to answer but then he hesitated. probably tired of getting busted all the time, he stopped and thought really hard. finally....

karol: no!
alex: yeeeeeeeeeeees!!!

this really brought tears to my eyes from laughing too hard. poor karol! i knew he had the correct answer but changed his mind at the last minute. :))

cute broccoli

2011-03-04T11:08:00.003+01:00

i was prepping ingredients for lunch when alex approached me. at that moment, i was dividing the broccoli into small flowerettes.

alex: what are you doing?
me: making the broccoli small.
alex: why are you doing that?
me: so that they will be nice.
alex: but they are also nice when they are big.
me: i know. but see aren't they cute?
alex: aha! so you want them to be cute, right?!

now, i felt really silly. all i could do was say uh-huh with an embarrassed smile. hihihi!

three little piglets (read: pooh bears)

2011-02-28T23:40:00.005+01:00

alex @ almost 5 months; karol @ almost 6 months; andy @ 3 1/2 months

the driver's journey

2010-09-04T20:28:00.008+02:00

i've always wanted to drive, and of course own a car. it took me a long time to get to that but here i am now... :)

first step: getting a driver's license
took advantage of the last visit to philippines to do this. went to driving school and applied at the local lto office. got my license on the very last possible day before we left for slovakia. claimed the license in the morning and directly went to manila to get the certification from the central office. we needed this to get my license here in slovakia.

my hello and goodbye ph driver's license

i never even got to use my ph license. we had to swap it out to get the license here in slovakia. it's kinda sad, but it was all for the best. it was easier that way than to get a license directly from here. stricter driving school and slovak driving written and practical exams?!? no way!!!

my beloved slovak driver's license

second step: actually learning how to drive
driving school was a breeze. i really didn't get nervous at all. no problems when the driving instructor tells you exactly what to do, all the time and step by step. not to mention their hands are always close by your steering wheel and hand breaks. :))

now, what happens when you're on your own? yaiks!!! ok, i did some test drives with my cousin in our old mitsubishi lancer on some side streets and empty subdivisions. it wasn't so bad, but not so great either. :D

now with the real deal. when we got back to slovakia, i got to practice with hubby in our family car. double yaiks!!! the car was longer and wider than most. plus, hubby being a very good driver and loving this car so much makes me so nervous. worst time was when i couldn't take off at some stop light. it was a little uphill. took several red lights until the tram came and i was directly on the tracks!!! hubby had to take over. whew! got me really scared.

step three: driving solo
eventually, i got used to driving, specially on familiar roads. i drove the whole family every chance i got, but always, with hubby beside me. the very first time i drove by myself was purely out of necessity. hubby had something urgent at work and alex had to be picked up from kindergarten. it was raining a bit, but i aced it! :D

and then, hubby was hospitalized and underwent appendectomy. :( no choice! got to drive by myself for 5 days. everything went smoothly from there. well, a little bit of kinks here and there. but overall, i feel more confident. we even went for long drives several times during the summer.

finally
so, i can drive. now what will i drive? :D presenting our new baby... and my very first car... well technically it's a family car. but i just can't help owning it, since hubby will be driving the other car mostly ;)

kia venga! black and shiny!

snowy white spring day

2010-03-11T10:21:00.002+01:00

when we went home to PH for the christmas holidays, i was happy to avoid the harsher winters of SK. but nature has it's own mind...

when we came back in mid-february, everything was still white with a few fresh snow here and there. we were able to go bobsleding twice in nearby lake, until it started melting the following days. it was hopeful the next couple of weeks when temperatures started rising. spring is coming, weeeee!!! o yes, o yes, it's springtime!!!

whoops! not so fast! the whole week, while el niño is hitting PH, here temperature dropped below zero :( and today, there's a fresh coat of snow. it's been snowing probably during the night and is still.

sigh! chirping birds went into hiding again. but at least my daffodils are starting to show. hopefully the crocuses, tulips and hyacinths would soon follow.

mommy aches

2009-09-03T09:43:00.003+02:00

slovakia. thousand miles away from home. sigh! away from the things i grew up with. sigh! away from friends and family. sigh! but i never thought being a mommy would bring the biggest sigh of all...

being a mommy to two wonderful kids is both a blessing and a joy. they have brought me so much happiness even amidst all the tantrums. but, it's the things that i couldn't or wouldn't be able to do for them (or give to them) that makes me sad. not in such a strange country with a very difficult language.

* lost in translation pedia/doctor checkups
* no PTA's (and even if they have one i wouldn't be able to participate anyway)
* no graduations or recognition days
* first birthdays can pass in a blur

SIGH!

love means never having to say you're sorry

2009-01-09T17:15:00.004+01:00

a friend asked me to update my blog and so here it is...

the title is one of the most famous love quotes of all time. it's from the book love story. although until now, i still don't have a clue what it really means. could it mean:
a. don't do something you'd be sorry about later to the one you love?,
b. don't say it, just be sorry and make up for whatever it is?, or,
c. i don't know yet...

when i was growing up, i used to envy those families who could openly say niceties like "thank you", "i'm sorry", and "i love you" to each other.

well, among these three phrases, "thank you" might be the easiest to say but is usually taken for granted. it is spoken in our home, of course yes. but not saying it doesn't mean the receiver is ungrateful (unless, it is expressed otherwise).

i used to write "i love you" in letters we send to my mom when she was in hongkong. i could even say it over long distance phone calls. but saying it in person is another matter. i can't explain it, but i feel so embarassed saying it. it's like, i don't want to be corny or something. and when it's spoken, there's like an awkwardness-after-effect. don't ask me why, it just is. :D

now "sorry" is very tricky. the more sorry you are, the harder it is to say it. let's face it breaking a piece of china is nothing compared to breaking someone's heart.

but what's my point really? the point is, saying sorry is not the same as being sorry. saying thank you is not the same as showing appreciation. most of all, saying "i love you" is not enough, but it's a start...

nonsense again?! definitely! :))

post-partum: breastfeeding

2008-09-14T11:53:00.004+02:00

breast milk is best for babies

to breastfeed or not to breastfeed? that is the question!!! for sure, breastfeeding is best for babies. yes, i believe that. but is it best for mommies too? this is the question that's been bugging me during the last couple of weeks.

in the beginning, i was really excited at the thought of having my baby breastfed 100%. in philippines, it's not a very easy thing to do. from birth, they give formula. unless, you demand it i guess. with alex, it was mixed feeding. it's hard to deny the convenience of just using formula specially during the middle of the night feedings. this and the fact that alex had lactose intolerance, cut my breastfeeding experience short.

here in slovakia, they encourage full-time breastfeeding. i even feel that they would turn their nose up if you even mention formula. anyway, right after birth, the babies room-in with the mom, the moment they are strong enough. by enough, i mean, it could even be right after the delivery. that is, if you feel up to it. but the pressure is really there, so you kinda have no choice.

now, karol is breastfed full-time. it's no joke, but when i say full-time, it means an almost 24-hour job. one breastfeeding session could last from 20 minutes to 1-hour. depending on how cooperative karol is. most of the time, karol falls asleep while feeding. i have to constantly wake him up to try and make sure he feeds enough. although sometimes, it's really impossible to do and i just let him sleep. but not 15 minutes after you put him down, he will wake up and start rooting again. and so, the cycle starts again.

breastfeeding is not only physically but also emotionally stressful. there are times when karol cannot sleep and seems to want to feed all the time. he will fall asleep 5 minutes during the feeding, wakes up when you put him down, cries even when he's picked up, and doesn't stop until he is feeding again. this usually goes on for several hours. there's really nothing much i could do during these times. then i start asking questions. is he getting enough milk? am i not producing enough? is full-time breastfeeding really meant for me? it's so frustrating, that i sometimes just cry...

i sometimes get lucky breaks when he sleeps straight for 2 hours. i'm supposed to use this time catch my own winks. however, these "free" times i have to devote to alex or other chores that need to be done. but as i've said, these are very rare times. most of the time, i just feel sad not being able to spend as much time as i should with alex. sometimes the little time i get to spend with her, ends up with us fighting. i know i should have more patience with her. but it's hard to do when you are tired most of the time.

i know alex feels this lack of attention. she's acting out and have more frequent tantrums. i feel so helpless. there's nothing much i can do. breastfeeding karol is a job only i can do.

i know breastfeeding is a good thing. i just have to keep reminding myself that and hope for things to get better...

post-partum: CS vs. ND

2008-09-06T15:30:00.005+02:00

is normal delivery (ND) really better than a caesarian section (CS)? i had already experienced both and i'm not sure i agree with what most people or books say.

i had caesarian section two years ago with alex. i know it was more risky and takes longer time to heal, at least six months, or so they say. but not one week after we were out of the hospital, i was up and about as usual. maybe i shouldn't have forced my body to work so much, but i had no choice, i had to take care of alex.

this time with karol, the labor and delivery took less than two hours. however, it was a very difficult one for me. karol was too big for me, so i sustained a big rupture which required several episiotomy stitches. because of this, i am not able to do some of the very basic things like: sitting, standing (especially for long time), walking, sneezing or coughing, and even cutting my toenails. it's just too painful. the only thing i could do is lay on my side most of the day. or muster all my limited energy, to bear all the pain that i could, to take care of things and run the household.

good thing i have loved ones around to help me. but of course, there are times that i still have to do things myself. however, not being able to sit properly or stand for long time makes it hard to take care of karol, and of course alex. more specifically, it's hard to breastfeed while sitting down. even changing diapers is a painful chore. i couldn't even spend enough time to be with alex. :(

i know that healing will only take 2-3 weeks. however, the two weeks that have already passed felt like eternity. it's so frustrating that i sometimes wish i had another CS instead. i am really tired, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. sigh!

once you pop, you can't stop!

2008-08-31T18:03:00.006+02:00

22.08.08 0400H (GMT+1) PLOP!

from deep slumber, i suddenly woke up on my elbows. in my mind the thought suddenly came "what was that?!" i waited a while and a mild contraction started and ended. i waited again... then another began. i woke up hubby and said calmly, "daddy, i think it's time." his eyes grew into two big round balls :)) still i waited ... and suddenly there was a small trickle of liquid.

i stood up. i heard that amniotic fluid flows faster when you're laying down. also i wanted to check if it was really what i thought it was. well, without surprise, it was. then there were stronger contractions which were like just 2 minutes apart. and so i said, "ok, i really think it's time."

hubby immediately called the ob, i spoke with her a bit and she told us to proceed immediately to hospital. of course, first i packed a few things i could get my hands on. i wasn't in a hurry. hubby was the one who was very worried.

around 430am, we arrived in ruzinov hospital. the contractions were getting even stronger. but they wouldn't let me be in a wheel chair. i had to walk to the lift going up to the 9th floor. the resident ob did an ie and found me to be already 7cm dilated. so immediately she sent me to the delivery room. i had to walk to get there, while the contractions are getting stronger. good thing hubby was with me all the time, in lieu of the fact that i don't speak slovak.

shortly, the ob arrived. we tried to ask for pain reliever. but she said it's too late for any of that. the baby is coming very soon. so i had to endure each and every contractions, every millisecond of it which felt endless.

just a few minutes before 600am, karol andrej gushed out so suddenly :)) he cried immediately and a sudden feeling of relief washed over me. the nurses took him for cleaning and a few moments after... there he was. so perfect.

yes, labor and delivery was short but unfortunately i heard the ob say i had a big rupture. so they had to do an episiotomy. the procedure felt longer and more painful than the whole labor and delivery. eventhough they administered local anesthesia, i seem to have felt every needle prick. but all these is such a small price to pay compared to what we now hold in our arms.

click karol andrej's blog for latest updates.

d-day minus one

2008-08-31T17:29:00.004+02:00

21.08.08 it was thursday, we were scheduled for the weekly ob checkup. there we learned i'm already 2cm dilated. hence, she advised me to take a rest. we also discussed the next course of actions since i was due in just over a week (30 aug).

i was supposed to be admitted in hospital a few days before the due date (26th aug, tue). it's standard protocol for possibility of normal delivery after my having had a previous cs.

i didn't like the idea of being admitted. that means staying longer in hospital. already, it takes an average of 4-5 hospital-days-stay after delivery. think about staying in hospital by yourself where the language barrier is so great. sigh! but we didn't have any other choice.

at home, i cannot stop thinking about the impending hospitalization and delivery. my only way out was to go into labor before the 26th. noo-ni-noo-ni-noo...

i wanted to start packing my things for the hospital, but decided to postpone it. well, i've heard a story of how they packed their bags and then a day after they went into labor. or how the doctor told them it will still take a week, and within 24 hours they delivered. yes, i wanted to deliver my baby before the admission date, but i wasn't sure if i wanted it too soon. :)

against doctor's advice, we went shopping at h&m in avion that night. we scheduled it the previous day, but for some reason it was postponed. anyway, i helped hubby get some new clothes. i bought a black dress, and some children's clothes as gifts. inay got some things too.

so the evening ended uneventfully. in bed, hubby and i talked a bit about other people's labor stories, etc. other than that, we didn't have any clue whatsoever of what lies ahead... :)

hormonal

2008-07-29T11:21:00.002+02:00

i have been planning to blog about my second pregnancy ever since we tested positive. but somehow i have never gotten into it until i posted the 3d ultrasound of "baby brother" (still not 100% sure about the name).

i'm almost in my last month, and this may come as a bit emotional (read: hormonal)...

when we found out, i didn't know how to react. i couldn't even remember it now. it's good news, yes, but there also lots of other things to consider. one thing i remember is that i expected it to be easier the second time around. reasons being:

1. been there done that
2. hubby will be with me from beginning to end

however, things don't usually turn out the way we expect them to be.

first trimester proved to be the worst. always hungry, but no appetite. couldn't even think of what i want to eat. couldn't take anything too sweet (oh my poor chocolates!!!) i didn't even like the taste of our ever faithful nestea iced tea lemon, nor orange juice. had to force myself to down apple juice, which lost it's appeal after some time. until i found a citrus mix (lemon, lime, and grapefruit).

but i was still hungry most of the time, couldn't eat much. i feel sick and on the verge of puking all the time. luckily, i only had to actually do it once. but i was tired and had to lay down most of the day. poor alex wants to play with mommy, and mommy couldn't.

third trimester was even harder. "baby brother" moved so much during the night (harder and more frequent than alex ever did). and i found it even harder to go to sleep. add to that the back pain, restless leg syndrome (RLS, in filipino we call it "pangangalos"), and the frequent urination. and so, insomnia strikes again which led to iron-deficiency anemia, coupled with fatigue, shortness of breath, and ear stuffiness. it's really too much to handle. sigh!

i also had to take magnesium supplement 3x a day to relax my already 1cm open cervix. doctor advised me to slow down and rest most of the day. although sometimes, it's not really an option.

the fact that hubby and i are together didn't change the situation either. i'm still thankful he's around this time. he vacuums, washes the bottles, gives massage from time to time, etc. but it's still hard. most of the time it was just me. alex turning into a terrible two, didn't help the matter. during the day, i still have to do some of the regular household chores while hubby's at work. at night, he usually goes to bed without me. i had to fight off the recurring insomnia by myself.

no offense to all the hubbies out there. but i realized, that no matter how supportive they might be, the moms are really alone in this. pregnancy is really something that only the mom could experience fully, both the good and the bad sides of it. i'm not saying the hubbies cannot do anything. on the contrary, they should be as supportive as possible. sometimes doing a little bit of sacrifice wouldn't hurt either. try to have a little taste of what the mom goes through during these times (and right after). although it would never come close, it's easier when you know that someone is there and understands what you're going through.

house, m.d. season 4 finale

2008-07-22T13:49:00.002+02:00

last night i couldn't sleep again. baby brother was so active not to mention i have so many things running inside my mind. anyway, i watched the last few episodes of house to keep me occupied. the season finale really got to me...

sometimes we all want to be in a place where it doesn't hurt. where we don't have to be miserable. somewhere where we can escape from everything. no pain, no worries. where it's not sad. where you don't have to cry at all. but that means leaving everything behind, even those things that we most love.

it all boils down to this: YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT.

"baby brother" is camera shy

2008-06-27T15:38:00.008+02:00

this is "baby brother", as alex calls him (we still don't have name for him yet). it's a 2d picture of HIM. yes, 100% sure that it's a boy.

we just came from 3d ultrasound. but "baby brother" is camera shy. hiding his face with his tiny arms. so we just saw a side view. he has round face and thin lips like alex. most probably they will look alike :)

watch and enjoy!

31

2008-06-11T00:32:00.002+02:00

31, last year in the calendar as they say, if you know what i mean :D

anyway, the day started out like any other day. except for a birthday greeting on top of the "good morning". had crepe with nutella and mandarin for breakfast, nothing special, just that there were no other things available. including the whipped cream that had gone bad :(

after breakfast, we went to the cottage to pick up strawberries and have lunch. sad thing though, it rained so hard. so mama picked up the strawberries, we had quick lunch, and went back home.

dinner was supposed to be in a fancy restaurant, which turned out to be closed on weekends. sigh! so we tried the nice seafood restaurant near some lake. murphy's law decided that it would be too full of people of course. so let's just go to ikea for dinner and then look around afterwards.

that was my day... happy birthday!

"mommy, you're kawing!"

2008-06-11T00:22:00.002+02:00

sometimes, when alex is sleepy, hungry or tired, she starts to cry and then says "mommy/daddy, i'm not kawing (read: crying)." she has learned to describe some emotions, like happy and sad.

----------------oo0oo----------------

with all the pregnancy hormones surging inside of me, i cry for little or no reason at all. one time, i was still in bed and felt really sad that i started to cry. alex was standing behind me and realized what's happening. so she said, "mommy, you're kawing! mommy you're sad..." then, she climbed up the bed and cuddled beside me. i was doing all the cuddling, but i felt much better.

this is the thought that keeps me going in times of downfall...

singapore, bow!

2008-06-06T15:41:00.004+02:00

we just came back last tuesday from a month-long stay in singapore. hubby was assigned there to work on a project. lucky for us, we (alex and myself) were able to tag along :)

it was nice to be back after 4 long years. it was even more special because some of my bestest friends are already based there. however, most of them are working, so we didn't get to spend so much time together. but what time we spent, i enjoyed so much, no matter how little.

to kosa (a.k.a. gail)
thanks for the shrimp lunch, long phone calls, singapore zoo experience, sex and the city date movie, singtel load, help in planning, and for the puto :)

but most, most, specially for having mamigs and joshua. i've never seen alex enjoy so much as when she's playing with mamigs. i still get teary eyed thinking how nice it would be for our children to grow up together and be friends.

to aruray (a.k.a. sharon)
thanks for the visits, phone calls, taking all the blows/jokes, getting lost in mrt's, and of course for picking up the bbq and turon, and the happy meals.

to jermy, sharon, richard and sam
thanks for visiting and bringing the cake too. thanks sam for playing with and being a big sister to alex.

to momee and dadi
nice to see you again after a long time. thanks momee for the help in planning alex's party. gave me great tips :)

to my SA family
thanks for being there on alex's birthday, which also became sort of a reunion. i think mommy and daddy enjoyed even more than alex. :))

special mention to papajimjim, for taking nice pix. i haven't seen them, but i'm sure they would be great.

to chee meng
thanks for taking us out for the best food, and for driving us to alex's party.

it wouldn't have been the same without all of you. i miss you all!

my IQ: gifted! (2.3%)

2008-03-25T08:24:00.004+01:00

Free-IQTest.net - Free IQ Test

beauty and the beast

2007-12-07T22:35:00.000+01:00

i have never really seen any episode of this series, and yet i have loved the idea and the plot.

the following is the opening credits narration from the series:

Vincent: This is where the wealthy and the powerful rule. It is her world... a world apart from mine. Her name... is Catherine. From the moment I saw her, she captured my heart with her beauty, her warmth, and her courage. I knew then, as I know now, she would change my life... forever.

Catherine Chandler: He comes from a secret place, far below the city streets, hiding his face from strangers, safe from hate and harm. He brought me there to save my life... and now, wherever I go, he is with me, in spirit. For we have a bond stronger than friendship or love. And although we cannot be together, we will never, ever be apart.

this quote really strikes me, specially that last part. i was once in a relationship that somehow correlates to this idea. although it did not last, it was true and sincere. and although we cannot be together, he will forever be in my prayers.

on a lighter note, the theme song of the series reminds me not only of this sad past but also of former crush. he lent me a cassette tape with the song, which was recorded like 6 times on one side. on the other side was another song (i forgot the title) recorded the same number of times. i never got tired of the two songs. i played the tape over and again (do the math on that one!). but, i specially liked the excerpts from "somewhere i have never travelled" by e.e. cummings narrated in the song.

the first time i loved forever
lyrics by melanie safka
melody by lee holdridge

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

the first time i loved forever
was when you whispered my name
and i knew at once you loved me
for the me of who i am

the first time i loved forever
i cast all else aside
and i bid my heart to follow
be there no more need to hide

and if wishes and dreams are merely for children
and if love's a tale for fools
i'll live the dream with you

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

for all my life and forever
there's a truth i'll always know
when my world divides and shatters
your love is where i'll go

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

now, i'm trying to get a hold of a copy of the series. there are 3 seasons in all, but i was only able to get up to episode 13 of season 2. haven't started watching but i know it will be super bitin! *sigh!*

sprain nightmares

2007-11-08T15:02:00.001+01:00

for over a month now, me and hubby have been playing basketball every tuesday. it's really fun, considering the fact that i haven't played for over 10 years. plus, the fact that i played "girl's" basketball. now we play the "real" game, so to speak.

i wasn't so sure about the idea the first time hubby told me about this. i asked repeatedly if it would be a mixed basketball. i have always thought that "girls" (or, women, if you want) and basketball cannot be put together (well, unless it's some professional or varsity sport). much more, men + women does not equate to basketball. but somehow i was proven wrong.

i first played basketball in high school. it was required and i started liking it. then i got a bit more serious when they chose me to play for the annual intramurals. so in college, i decided to take up basketball as one of my physical education courses. and that was the end of it. saying as much, i never could say that i have played "real" baskeball until recently -- and until i sprained my ankle.

i have sprained my ankle before (from basketball practice of course). it was one of the saddest moments of my high school life. it made me lose my spot in the cheering squad, which was next, if not on the same level, to my liking basketball. it makes me smile thinking about that. for now, there's more at stake than not being able to shout and dance -- my precious alex.

---ooOoo---

scene #1:

minela running to the opponents' court. bam!

minela: "ouch! i missed a step"

falls down with a sprained ankle.

first thoughts: "how could i take care of alex? how could i lift a 12kg baby on one foot?"

(...this is what really happened...)

scene #2:

alex wakes up in the morning. hubby has gone to work. need to pick up baby from the crib.

minela thinks: could i?

alex needs to take a bath.

minela thinks: how? could i stand on one leg for such a long time?

(...i convinced hubby to take a half day sick leave and he took care of alex while i rested...)

scene #3:

hubby needs to go to work. minela needs to take shower. alex asleep on the bed with the bedroom door closed and could wake up soon.

minela thinks: what if i fall on the shower and hurt myself again before alex wakes up. she would cry not being able to get out of the bedroom. and i couldn't come to her. what would i do?

(...hubby went to check out a car with a friend and went to work. no accidents. alex woke up just after minela took shower. sigh!...)

---ooOoo---

so all turned out well. i'm quickly recovering, i think. could be the adrenaline needed to keep up with alex. now i could feel a bit of strain on my other leg, but just a day after the incident, i was even able to wash alex in the tub. i could also walk much better and the pain ranges from almost gone to tolerable. thanks to danka's advice and to hubby's effort to get me the best gel and bandage. hopefully, i could play again next tuesday. :D

conscience: "yeah, you wish!"

ponderings

2007-11-08T14:33:00.000+01:00

somebody told me that one of the saddest things in this world is living your life just for your own self. what about living your life for others and not having a life of your own? maybe some would call it saintly. that may be right, but it can also be sad sometimes.

is there really no me in we? is it not possible to live your life for others and still have a life of your own? for what will happen if the person you live for is gone? will you have no life at all then? or will you try and start to live your own life from then on? and, will it not be too late?

just pondering...

november 1

2007-11-01T23:11:00.000+01:00

Todos los Santos, All Saints' Day -- a day devoted to all the saints, known and unknown. in the philippines, it is one of the biggest holidays. however, unlike the festive christmas and new year holidays, it's not what a small child would normally look forward to.

november 1 has always been some kind of a spooky holiday. ghost stories. booooooo! "magandang gabi bayan" (good evening philippines) scary episode. booooooo! sometimes kids who were born on this day were even teased. maybe it's because it's very close to halloween, which actually falls on the 31st of october in the american tradition. i have never really paid too much attention to the irony of it all. until now...

==o0o==

i never would have thought that this is the kind of holiday that i would miss in my life. i have my new home now, far, far, away, with my loving husband and cutest little angel (with horns *lol*). they have the same tradition of visiting the graves of departed relatives, bringing flowers and lighting candles. and so, my husband went with family, while i stayed home with my daughter.

it used to be that, as a teenager, i would have preferred to stay home. but as family obligations come, i had to go. wriggle my way into the crowd. try not to get lost looking for the graves. light a candle. pray. wait until the candles are not worthy enough to be stolen by kids who collect and sells the wax (supposedly, melted candles).

now, i couldn't go even if i wanted to, and surprisingly i miss it. i just lit a candle and said some silent prayers a few minutes ago. it maybe enough in the true essence of this holiday, but somehow it's not the same.

==o0o==

filipinos love all kinds of holidays. this is also one of those few times where families are reunited. people go back to their home towns to visit their dearly departeds' graves. that's why there's heavy traffic everywhere, most specially on the expressways. in my hometown, san pablo city, traffic is rerouted and tricycle fares are mountain high. but these things don't stop people from coming.

who could resist? what's supposed to be a day of prayer is turned into a festive tiangge (street market) complete with the carnival rides for the young and not so young ones. every year, they sell those very nice set of clay pots and paper mache horses that small kids could ride. of course, as a kid i have always wanted them and wished my parents would let me ride the "unsafe" ferris wheel. well, not all wishes come true. good thing i could always collect the melted candles, and form them into balls with a kaleidoscope of colors and scents. Most importantly, compete with my cousins for the biggest ball.

==o0o==

sigh! those were the old days. today really made me a bit nostalgic, and maybe even spiritual. but then again, maybe it's just the clay pots, paper mache horses, ferris wheels and balls of melted candle. all the same, i have to get used to being far away from the place i used to call home. but, who knows? maybe one day, i could even pioneer a wax ball competition in slovakia. hmmm...

"mantika" and colored jeepneys

2007-09-08T12:51:00.001+02:00

while i was out on the veranda i saw a boy and a girl who was maybe between 11 to 13 years old. the boy was holding two shopping bags from tesco. suddenly i remembered the time we visited my aunt's family in olangapo around the same age.

my uncle was in the US navy and was stationed in subic, which used to be a military base. everyone of my cousins were there. it was the farthest i have ever been from home at that age. it was exciting because everything was new to me.

i was not a sheltered child as you might think, but i have never been to a wet market by myself at that time. imagine my surprise when my aunt asked me and my cousin nonoy, who was younger only by months, to go to the market in a town i barely knew. i was really scared to go but i was more scared of my aunt. nonoy supposedly knew which jeepneys to ride. he says it's easy, and the jeepneys have specific colors for specific routes. blue, green, pink, you name it. so we went.

we had to buy all sort of things that filled a basket bigger than both of us, from fruits to cooking oil. believe it or not, the hardest thing was buying the cooking oil. we kept asking for "langis" (oil) and people kept pointing us to auto shops, saying they don't have it. they thought we wanted to buy motor oil. it was kinda funny but we finally managed to get a bottle of cooking oil in the end. it turned out that unlike in the south, they strictly say "mantika" to mean cooking oil. i am not so sure if my vocabulary is right, but i always thought "mantika" was used cooking oil or fat produced after cooking. :))

we got lost when we took the pink jeepney on the way back home. it turned out nonoy didn't know the way so well at all. but we managed to get home in the end. even if it took us more time. it was time well spent on one of the exciting adventures of our childhood.

bespwen

2007-08-02T22:59:00.000+02:00

i know i haven't written anything for a long time in this blog, then i got inspired after a visit from one of my best friends. i have had gained so many best friends in my life. so, this one is dedicated to all best friends in the world. but it's about one particularly "makulit" bespwen.

i'm not the type of person who writes or calls my friends regularly, but it's amazing how we can always pick up where we left off. it's like we weren't ever apart for a long time at all. even though it doesn't always turn out to be good.

i could still remember how we became best friends like it was yesterday, and it's kinda funny how it happened. we started as trainees for an IT company in june 1999. there were 40 of us and we were divided into groups of four. she belonged to the group in front of us. however, she kept joining our group during the lectures. i didn't understand it back then. now i know, that it's because i'm this very charming person who she wanted to be her best friend. :D

anyway, so this "makulit", never-runs-out-of-energy girl comes with me everywhere i go. she goes with me for cigarette breaks even if she doesn't smoke. she pesters me with boylet issues, with poems (mine or hers), and weirdly with my "good" singing of cranberries' dreams. it was almost crazy, specially the part about my singing. i was already thinking that maybe she's a lunatic-stalker-type of girl (which later on i learned to be true *lol*). then, the craziest of things happened...

one day, one of her best friends (a guy, who i found very cute) visited her. it was just after lunch and i was on my way back to the training room. then, she stopped me and introduced me to him. she said, "ito nga pala ang best friend ko dito" (this is my best friend here.) well, being the nice and sweet girl that i am, i couldn't deny it and make her lose face. so i nodded, and shook the cute guy's hand. and that became a binding contract. poor me!

now, i invited her to my home. fed her and all. then what does she do? spill out the pre-husband-secrets (read: embarassing moments) to my hubby. she's so, so bad. now, he has weapons against me. argh!

if only i had not signed that contract. now, if there's a way to cancel the contract between best friends, i don't have to do things, like:
* weeping or panicking when calling at odd hours;
* listening to incessant tales about other people, boys, or life's endless questions;
* crying and bearing my heart out about my sad pathetic life;
* hearing things that are painful to hear, even if they are the truth; or
* doing a lot of other things i still couldn't figure why best friends do (like "dance, dance revolution"!)

so you see, best friends are really painfully the best!

murphy's law (not again!!!)

2007-01-26T16:47:00.000+01:00

25 january 2006. NAIA airport.

CASE #1: mile long check-in queue + 13kg excess luggage + strict attendant = pissed-off passenger

action #1: beg - REJECTED
action #2: argue - REJECTED
action #3: hand carry an extra 3kg together with my 9kg baby and 6kg baby bag - REJECTED (9.5kg excess)
action #4: leave behind beloved roller blades + cry from frustration - ACCEPTED (6.5kg excess, free of charge)

CASE #2: delayed luggage

action #1: wait
action #2: file complaint
action #3: wait (again!) until the following day

CASE #3: lost video cam

action #1: frustration
action #2: file complaint - NO REPLY
action #3: nothing else to do but weep

maybe it's just one of those days...

2007-01-20T15:34:00.000+01:00

"LIFE IS HARD."

that's the ultimate truth. how many times have you heard this phrase? how many times did you ask yourself why it is so? and how many times did you ever wish to be able to run away from it all?

all you ever wanted is to be happy. but sometimes you will think that happiness is just not meant for you. that all you can do is to accept everything that life throws at you. and just hope that some days will be better than the rest, with that sweet little angel "watching over" you.

murphy's law (2 days to go...)

2006-12-14T02:52:00.000+01:00

at long last, i received my schengen visa from austrian embassy last tuesday. it's really amazing how murphy's law works (whoever the hell is murphy?!?). after the passport incident, we were really hoping against hope for the visa to be granted. we know we don't have any problem getting approved, but getting the visa on my passport was another matter.

the embassy lady was really mean. she stressed out that unless i have my permanent residency id when the visa arrives, i will not be able to get the visa. and that was really tricky since we don't know when the id will be available. with the help of my father-in-law and my husband, we got a tip to ask for help from the netherlands embassy since we will be transiting on amsterdam also. everything seemed to be working well until we went to apply for it.

the netherlands consul okayed the letter from the immigration police. they didn't need to see the physical id, so it was ok. but due to some technicalities (first border of entry is austria, by car), the consul denied it. but at least, they were humane and gave us hope. very much unlike the... well you know who. anyway, as we were about to leave the holland embassy, we got call from ERI saying the id has arrive. they had to pull some strings, we don't know what kind, but we were happy. it was a friday so we had to wait 3 more days to get it.

now murphy's law has started... the middle name on my id was still my mom's maiden name. the police said only the name and surname are important, but who knows right. again, we have to hope against hope. luckily, the austrain lady didn't mind that little thing at all (or maybe she just didn't notice. so i got my visa, but not without another of murphy's law. the transit visa starts 2 days after our departure! funny, ei?! well, we just waited a few more minutes to have it changed. so GOD is still good. now it's just 2 more days and we'll be on the plane to beloved philippines. or so i hope... hehehe! oops, i don't want to jinx it.

it's should be a happy ending. and i'm very happy. see you soon PH!!! :D

first fall

2006-11-29T15:28:00.000+01:00

*kablag*
minela: "oh my gosh!!!"
*loud crying*

6 months, 3 days, 6 hours and a few minutes after alex was born, it happened -- her first fall.

it was lunch time. hubby was home installing the lights. my nilagang baka just wasn't ready yet, and alex was getting cranky. so i prepared milk and fed her. then she started pushing (read: making uu). we stopped feeding and went on to change her, then i threw out her nappy.

it was getting late for lunch and hubby is gonna be late for work. i checked on my nilagang baka and started preparing for lunch. then it happened. she cried (but not as much as when she got her ears pierced), she was definitely shocked. we tried to calm her down as best as we can. being a good girl that she is she calmed down after a few rocks and kisses. when she stopped crying, as her mommy, i couldn't help but cry. maybe i'm even more shocked than her. i still couldn't shake it off.

she's sleeping now. but her doctor said we should still observe her until tomorrow. so every ten minutes or so, i still check on her. they say, accidents are normal to babies her age. but nothing could ever prepare parents for this kind of shock. long before, i have dreaded that this time will come. now it did, and i'm still in shock.

my brother told me once how i fell off the bed when i was a baby. i was sleeping and he was supposed to be in charge of me. being the young boy that he was, he left me to play outside. then he heard my crying and run to me, put me back to bed, and hoped for me to stop crying. now, i am married and have alex. maybe 25 years from now, alex may be trying to calm down her own little alex from her first fall. sigh! maybe it's just a phase babies (and most specially mommies) have to go through. but i'm really hoping this is not just the first, but also the last.

GOD is good

2006-11-29T11:51:00.000+01:00

there has been many instances that i have proven this. you know those days in college... at the end of each semester i would feel desperate thinking i would fail at least one of my courses. but year after year for four years, some miracle will happen and things turn out really good for me. well except for my last semester, which was my fault. but that's another story.

anyway, the point of this is that at least once in you life you will feel helpless. you cannot do anything but to surrender and let fate decide. that's what i did when i lost my passport. when we realized it was missing, after four hours, we did the best we could. my hubby and i went back and searched every nook, corner, and even garbage cans, along the path we went through. but it was really gone. we even went to police to try and see if somebody has returned it. nothing...

i really didn't know what to feel... sad? angry? hopeless? so i just felt numb. i just hoped and prayed. it was really all up to HIM. but i wasn't really expecting anything anymore. i just surrendered everything. whatever will be, will be.

the following morning, by some miracle, my in-laws called my hubby and told him that police called. somebody (bless him, or her) just left my passport in some police station, several kilometers away from where we lost it. but that didn't matter. the most important thing is we got it back.

now, my application for transit visa is all in order. they said, they will process it. although, in case i get approved, we will not be able to claim the visa unless i have the permanent residency id. and that is a very big problem... we still don't have it. the immigration police says it takes 2-6 weeks. so there's nothing to do but wait and see, and hope that by the time the visa arrives, the id is ready.

again, i surrender... because i know GOD is good.

the saga of my beloved passport

2006-11-24T15:51:00.000+01:00

i got my first passport when i started working for a multinational IT company in makati. it was one of the requirements. it was delayed though, due to some technicalities.

it's not a big deal, it's just that we found out i'm not properly registered to the civil registry. i was still recorded as Baby Girl Rada! hehehe, ok so it was a big deal. we have to go through the process of late registration and the rest is history.

my first passport took me to places until it was time to renew it. it was supposedly easier this time. no need for personal appearances and the likes. just hand your old passport to a travel agency and they can do it for you. or, it should have been like that.

i had to do it personally because i had to do it in a rush. luckily, leslie was with me. we were going to travel together and both our passports were about to expire. so we had to spend half a day in queues (submission of application, verification, payment, etc., etc...). after one week, it was ready and i will not have problems with it for the next five years of my life. unless....

i got married!!! moreso, to a foreigner. naturally, i had to go with my husband to his home country. so it was best to have my passport amended/renewed to reflect my new surname sooner than later.

as you might have guessed already, i needed more requirements. i had to take two MRT's, from end to end, walk through three malls (and not do shopping), pay PhP250.00 (twice!), attend to an NGO seminar for spouses/fiance of foreign nationals, and get some "precious" certificate. so afterwards, it will be five years of peace.

think again!

this morning, i had to wake up much earlier than usual to go to austrian embassy and apply for schengen visa so that i could fly out from vienna back to my beloved PH. take note, i already got the ticket and we have all the requirements. except, they needed my permanent residence id, which i don't have yet. we managed to get certification from immigration police and planned to go back on monday. two weeks after that, we are hoping that the pages of my new passport will be adorned by another visa sticker. that is, if we find it.

yes, my beloved passport has gone missing in action this morning.

so sad! :(

my daughter has celebrity look-alikes?!

2006-11-23T00:47:00.000+01:00

just for fun, i tried putting my baby's pic to search for celebrity look-alikes. surprisingly, it returned surprising results (pun intended). but i like that we both look like zhang ziyi :))

my celeb look-alike?!?

2006-11-23T00:32:00.000+01:00

don't know half of them... but why does Pops Fernandez look more like Regine Velasquez?!! :))

there's no such thing as an ex-con

2006-11-21T21:32:00.000+01:00

that's a line from Prison Break. the lead character, Michael, told his brother that Charles was right when he said there's no such thing as an ex-con. they were successful to break out of Fox River Penitentiary and are now in pursuit of D.B. Cooper's stash, a.k.a. Charles. but things started going wrong and Michael has gotta do what he's gotta do...

anyway, this line struck me so much while i was out on the veranda smoking. then i started thinking, maybe there's also no such thing as an ex-smoker! :) curious ey!

therapy: session one

2005-06-29T09:37:00.000+02:00

i have asked myself before what a blog is and what it is for. today, i found out while reasearching about a different topic -- burnout. i chanced upon some sites which mentions both burnout and weblogging *light bulb*.

yoda: weblogging leads to blogging, blogging leads to blog.

anyway, there was an article about bloggers suffering burnout and that some people "blog away" burnouts.

i think there's some truth in them. i don't believe that all bloggers are burnt out, but there could be a handful (like some people i know who has two blog sites and could not even update them *nooninooninoo*) then, you can read how most bloggers rant or rave about the things that are happening in their lives. so this is not really far from what i first wrote -- blog = free therapy!

ok enough introductions, here goes my first therapy session:

recently, i resigned from my five-long-years-second-job. i was really experiencing major stress. one time i just broke down because i was not able to send out my laundry.

reader: whaaaaaaaaat?!?

yeah, right! but it did happen. i was so tied up with work that i didn't have time to do anything else. i realized all this one saturday when i couldn't go out for lunch because i had to go to work. but then, i couldn't pull out any clean or decent clothes from my wardrobe. i just burst into tears *major self-pity*

i knew i needed to do something. i was lucky i had a scheduled vacation. but i knew that wasn't enough. so i quit my job, went to boracay, then to bohol, and rested for a few more weeks. but i had to get a new job, i hated the idea, but i had to if i want to survive.

i admit that i'm very lucky to get a job. but somehow, it doesn't feel right. at first, everything seems to be going well. then as each day passed i was starting to lose interest with my work again. i feel bored. sometimes i can't sleep at night not knowing why. everyday i have to drag myself to work (that is if i could at all).

now i'm still at a lost. my contract is almost over and i still don't know what to do next... "que sera, sera..."

burnout prevention and recovery

2005-06-29T09:08:00.000+02:00

1. STOP DENYING. Listen to the wisdom of your body. Begin to freely admit the stresses and pressures which have manifested physically, mentally, or emotionally.
MIT VIEW: Work until the physical pain forces you into unconsciousness.
2. AVOID ISOLATION. Don't do everything alone! Develop or renew intimacies with friends and loved ones. Closeness not only brings new insights, but also is anathema to agitation and depression.
MIT VIEW: Shut your office door and lock it from the inside so no one will distract you. They're just trying to hurt your productivity.
3. CHANGE YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES. If your job, your relationship, a situation, or a person is dragging you under, try to alter your circumstance, or if necessary, leave.
MIT VIEW: If you feel something is dragging you down, suppress these thoughts. This is a weakness. Drink more coffee.
4. DIMINISH INTENSITY IN YOUR LIFE. Pinpoint those areas or aspects which summon up the most concentrated intensity and work toward alleviating that pressure.
MIT VIEW: Increase intensity. Maximum intensity = maximum productivity. If you find yourself relaxed and with your mind wandering, you are probably having a detrimental effect on the recovery rate.
5. STOP OVERNURTURING. If you routinely take on other people's problems and responsibilities, learn to gracefully disengage. Try to get some nurturing for yourself.
MIT VIEW: Always attempt to do everything. You ARE responsible for it all. Perhaps you haven't thoroughly read your job description.
6. LEARN TO SAY "NO". You'll help diminish intensity by speaking up for yourself. This means refusing additional requests or demands on your time or emotions.
MIT VIEW: Never say no to anything. It shows weakness, and lowers the research volume. Never put off until tomorrow what you can do at midnight.
7. BEGIN TO BACK OFF AND DETACH. Learn to delegate, not only at work, but also at home and with friends. In this case, detachment means rescuing yourself for yourself.
MIT VIEW: Delegating is a sign of weakness. If you want it done right, do it yourself (see #5).
8. REASSESS YOUR VALUES. Try to sort out the meaningful values from the temporary and fleeting, the essential from the nonessential. You'll conserve energy and time, and begin to feel more centered.
MIT VIEW: Stop thinking about your own problems. This is selfish. If your values change, we will make an announcement at the Corporation meeting. Until then, if someone calls you and questions your priorities, tell them that you are unable to comment on this and give them the number for Community and Government Relations. It will be taken care of.
9. LEARN TO PACE YOURSELF. Try to take life in moderation. You only have so much energy available. Ascertain what is wanted and needed in your life, then begin to balance work with love, pleasure, and relaxation.
MIT VIEW: A balanced life is a myth perpetuated by liberal arts schools. Don't be a fool: the only thing that matters is work and productivity.
10. TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY. Don't skip meals, abuse yourself with rigid diets, disregard your need for sleep, or break the doctor appointments. Take care of yourself nutritionally.
MIT VIEW: Your body serves your mind, your mind serves the Institute. Push the mind and the body will follow. Drink Mountain Dew.
11. DIMINISH WORRY AND ANXIETY. Try to keep superstitious worrying to a minimum - it changes nothing. You'll have a better grip on your situation if you spend less time worrying and more time taking care of your real needs.
MIT VIEW: If you're not worrying about work, you must not be very committed to it. We'll find someone who is.
12. KEEP YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR. Begin to bring job and happy moments into your life. Very few people suffer burnout when they're having fun.
MIT VIEW: So, you think you work is funny? We'll discuss this with your director on Friday, at 7:00 P.M.!

SOURCE: http://web.mit.edu/afs/athena.mit.edu/user/w/c/wchuang/News/college/MIT-views.html

what the heck...

2005-04-11T10:26:00.000+02:00

ano na naman ba 'to?!? sows! pauso ni bespwen... hehehe. tanong ko lang kung ano bang kabutihang maidudulot nito? para lang ba 'to sa mga manunulat na kagaya ng mga kaibigan ko? at bakit kelangan ipakita sa ibang tao ang mga nasa isipan ko? ano ba 'to libreng therapy? :) haay, sana nga! pero kung hindi, o well, what the heck... basta lang... :P