breast milk is best for babies
to breastfeed or not to breastfeed? that is the question!!! for sure, breastfeeding is best for babies. yes, i believe that. but is it best for mommies too? this is the question that's been bugging me during the last couple of weeks.
in the beginning, i was really excited at the thought of having my baby breastfed 100%. in philippines, it's not a very easy thing to do. from birth, they give formula. unless, you demand it i guess. with alex, it was mixed feeding. it's hard to deny the convenience of just using formula specially during the middle of the night feedings. this and the fact that alex had lactose intolerance, cut my breastfeeding experience short.
here in slovakia, they encourage full-time breastfeeding. i even feel that they would turn their nose up if you even mention formula. anyway, right after birth, the babies room-in with the mom, the moment they are strong enough. by enough, i mean, it could even be right after the delivery. that is, if you feel up to it. but the pressure is really there, so you kinda have no choice.
now, karol is breastfed full-time. it's no joke, but when i say full-time, it means an almost 24-hour job. one breastfeeding session could last from 20 minutes to 1-hour. depending on how cooperative karol is. most of the time, karol falls asleep while feeding. i have to constantly wake him up to try and make sure he feeds enough. although sometimes, it's really impossible to do and i just let him sleep. but not 15 minutes after you put him down, he will wake up and start rooting again. and so, the cycle starts again.
breastfeeding is not only physically but also emotionally stressful. there are times when karol cannot sleep and seems to want to feed all the time. he will fall asleep 5 minutes during the feeding, wakes up when you put him down, cries even when he's picked up, and doesn't stop until he is feeding again. this usually goes on for several hours. there's really nothing much i could do during these times. then i start asking questions. is he getting enough milk? am i not producing enough? is full-time breastfeeding really meant for me? it's so frustrating, that i sometimes just cry...
i sometimes get lucky breaks when he sleeps straight for 2 hours. i'm supposed to use this time catch my own winks. however, these "free" times i have to devote to alex or other chores that need to be done. but as i've said, these are very rare times. most of the time, i just feel sad not being able to spend as much time as i should with alex. sometimes the little time i get to spend with her, ends up with us fighting. i know i should have more patience with her. but it's hard to do when you are tired most of the time.
i know alex feels this lack of attention. she's acting out and have more frequent tantrums. i feel so helpless. there's nothing much i can do. breastfeeding karol is a job only i can do.
i know breastfeeding is a good thing. i just have to keep reminding myself that and hope for things to get better...
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Saturday, September 06, 2008
post-partum: CS vs. ND
is normal delivery (ND) really better than a caesarian section (CS)? i had already experienced both and i'm not sure i agree with what most people or books say.
i had caesarian section two years ago with alex. i know it was more risky and takes longer time to heal, at least six months, or so they say. but not one week after we were out of the hospital, i was up and about as usual. maybe i shouldn't have forced my body to work so much, but i had no choice, i had to take care of alex.
this time with karol, the labor and delivery took less than two hours. however, it was a very difficult one for me. karol was too big for me, so i sustained a big rupture which required several episiotomy stitches. because of this, i am not able to do some of the very basic things like: sitting, standing (especially for long time), walking, sneezing or coughing, and even cutting my toenails. it's just too painful. the only thing i could do is lay on my side most of the day. or muster all my limited energy, to bear all the pain that i could, to take care of things and run the household.
good thing i have loved ones around to help me. but of course, there are times that i still have to do things myself. however, not being able to sit properly or stand for long time makes it hard to take care of karol, and of course alex. more specifically, it's hard to breastfeed while sitting down. even changing diapers is a painful chore. i couldn't even spend enough time to be with alex. :(
i know that healing will only take 2-3 weeks. however, the two weeks that have already passed felt like eternity. it's so frustrating that i sometimes wish i had another CS instead. i am really tired, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. sigh!
i had caesarian section two years ago with alex. i know it was more risky and takes longer time to heal, at least six months, or so they say. but not one week after we were out of the hospital, i was up and about as usual. maybe i shouldn't have forced my body to work so much, but i had no choice, i had to take care of alex.
this time with karol, the labor and delivery took less than two hours. however, it was a very difficult one for me. karol was too big for me, so i sustained a big rupture which required several episiotomy stitches. because of this, i am not able to do some of the very basic things like: sitting, standing (especially for long time), walking, sneezing or coughing, and even cutting my toenails. it's just too painful. the only thing i could do is lay on my side most of the day. or muster all my limited energy, to bear all the pain that i could, to take care of things and run the household.
good thing i have loved ones around to help me. but of course, there are times that i still have to do things myself. however, not being able to sit properly or stand for long time makes it hard to take care of karol, and of course alex. more specifically, it's hard to breastfeed while sitting down. even changing diapers is a painful chore. i couldn't even spend enough time to be with alex. :(
i know that healing will only take 2-3 weeks. however, the two weeks that have already passed felt like eternity. it's so frustrating that i sometimes wish i had another CS instead. i am really tired, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. sigh!
Sunday, August 31, 2008
once you pop, you can't stop!
22.08.08 0400H (GMT+1) PLOP!
from deep slumber, i suddenly woke up on my elbows. in my mind the thought suddenly came "what was that?!" i waited a while and a mild contraction started and ended. i waited again... then another began. i woke up hubby and said calmly, "daddy, i think it's time." his eyes grew into two big round balls :)) still i waited ... and suddenly there was a small trickle of liquid.
i stood up. i heard that amniotic fluid flows faster when you're laying down. also i wanted to check if it was really what i thought it was. well, without surprise, it was. then there were stronger contractions which were like just 2 minutes apart. and so i said, "ok, i really think it's time."
hubby immediately called the ob, i spoke with her a bit and she told us to proceed immediately to hospital. of course, first i packed a few things i could get my hands on. i wasn't in a hurry. hubby was the one who was very worried.
around 430am, we arrived in ruzinov hospital. the contractions were getting even stronger. but they wouldn't let me be in a wheel chair. i had to walk to the lift going up to the 9th floor. the resident ob did an ie and found me to be already 7cm dilated. so immediately she sent me to the delivery room. i had to walk to get there, while the contractions are getting stronger. good thing hubby was with me all the time, in lieu of the fact that i don't speak slovak.
shortly, the ob arrived. we tried to ask for pain reliever. but she said it's too late for any of that. the baby is coming very soon. so i had to endure each and every contractions, every millisecond of it which felt endless.
.jpg)
just a few minutes before 600am, karol andrej gushed out so suddenly :)) he cried immediately and a sudden feeling of relief washed over me. the nurses took him for cleaning and a few moments after... there he was. so perfect.
yes, labor and delivery was short but unfortunately i heard the ob say i had a big rupture. so they had to do an episiotomy. the procedure felt longer and more painful than the whole labor and delivery. eventhough they administered local anesthesia, i seem to have felt every needle prick. but all these is such a small price to pay compared to what we now hold in our arms.
click karol andrej's blog for latest updates.
from deep slumber, i suddenly woke up on my elbows. in my mind the thought suddenly came "what was that?!" i waited a while and a mild contraction started and ended. i waited again... then another began. i woke up hubby and said calmly, "daddy, i think it's time." his eyes grew into two big round balls :)) still i waited ... and suddenly there was a small trickle of liquid.
i stood up. i heard that amniotic fluid flows faster when you're laying down. also i wanted to check if it was really what i thought it was. well, without surprise, it was. then there were stronger contractions which were like just 2 minutes apart. and so i said, "ok, i really think it's time."
hubby immediately called the ob, i spoke with her a bit and she told us to proceed immediately to hospital. of course, first i packed a few things i could get my hands on. i wasn't in a hurry. hubby was the one who was very worried.
around 430am, we arrived in ruzinov hospital. the contractions were getting even stronger. but they wouldn't let me be in a wheel chair. i had to walk to the lift going up to the 9th floor. the resident ob did an ie and found me to be already 7cm dilated. so immediately she sent me to the delivery room. i had to walk to get there, while the contractions are getting stronger. good thing hubby was with me all the time, in lieu of the fact that i don't speak slovak.
shortly, the ob arrived. we tried to ask for pain reliever. but she said it's too late for any of that. the baby is coming very soon. so i had to endure each and every contractions, every millisecond of it which felt endless.
.jpg)
just a few minutes before 600am, karol andrej gushed out so suddenly :)) he cried immediately and a sudden feeling of relief washed over me. the nurses took him for cleaning and a few moments after... there he was. so perfect. yes, labor and delivery was short but unfortunately i heard the ob say i had a big rupture. so they had to do an episiotomy. the procedure felt longer and more painful than the whole labor and delivery. eventhough they administered local anesthesia, i seem to have felt every needle prick. but all these is such a small price to pay compared to what we now hold in our arms.
click karol andrej's blog for latest updates.
d-day minus one
21.08.08 it was thursday, we were scheduled for the weekly ob checkup. there we learned i'm already 2cm dilated. hence, she advised me to take a rest. we also discussed the next course of actions since i was due in just over a week (30 aug).
i was supposed to be admitted in hospital a few days before the due date (26th aug, tue). it's standard protocol for possibility of normal delivery after my having had a previous cs.
i didn't like the idea of being admitted. that means staying longer in hospital. already, it takes an average of 4-5 hospital-days-stay after delivery. think about staying in hospital by yourself where the language barrier is so great. sigh! but we didn't have any other choice.
at home, i cannot stop thinking about the impending hospitalization and delivery. my only way out was to go into labor before the 26th. noo-ni-noo-ni-noo...
i wanted to start packing my things for the hospital, but decided to postpone it. well, i've heard a story of how they packed their bags and then a day after they went into labor. or how the doctor told them it will still take a week, and within 24 hours they delivered. yes, i wanted to deliver my baby before the admission date, but i wasn't sure if i wanted it too soon. :)
against doctor's advice, we went shopping at h&m in avion that night. we scheduled it the previous day, but for some reason it was postponed. anyway, i helped hubby get some new clothes. i bought a black dress, and some children's clothes as gifts. inay got some things too.
so the evening ended uneventfully. in bed, hubby and i talked a bit about other people's labor stories, etc. other than that, we didn't have any clue whatsoever of what lies ahead... :)
i was supposed to be admitted in hospital a few days before the due date (26th aug, tue). it's standard protocol for possibility of normal delivery after my having had a previous cs.
i didn't like the idea of being admitted. that means staying longer in hospital. already, it takes an average of 4-5 hospital-days-stay after delivery. think about staying in hospital by yourself where the language barrier is so great. sigh! but we didn't have any other choice.
at home, i cannot stop thinking about the impending hospitalization and delivery. my only way out was to go into labor before the 26th. noo-ni-noo-ni-noo...
i wanted to start packing my things for the hospital, but decided to postpone it. well, i've heard a story of how they packed their bags and then a day after they went into labor. or how the doctor told them it will still take a week, and within 24 hours they delivered. yes, i wanted to deliver my baby before the admission date, but i wasn't sure if i wanted it too soon. :)
against doctor's advice, we went shopping at h&m in avion that night. we scheduled it the previous day, but for some reason it was postponed. anyway, i helped hubby get some new clothes. i bought a black dress, and some children's clothes as gifts. inay got some things too.
so the evening ended uneventfully. in bed, hubby and i talked a bit about other people's labor stories, etc. other than that, we didn't have any clue whatsoever of what lies ahead... :)
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
hormonal
i have been planning to blog about my second pregnancy ever since we tested positive. but somehow i have never gotten into it until i posted the 3d ultrasound of "baby brother" (still not 100% sure about the name).
i'm almost in my last month, and this may come as a bit emotional (read: hormonal)...
when we found out, i didn't know how to react. i couldn't even remember it now. it's good news, yes, but there also lots of other things to consider. one thing i remember is that i expected it to be easier the second time around. reasons being:
1. been there done that
2. hubby will be with me from beginning to end
however, things don't usually turn out the way we expect them to be.
first trimester proved to be the worst. always hungry, but no appetite. couldn't even think of what i want to eat. couldn't take anything too sweet (oh my poor chocolates!!!) i didn't even like the taste of our ever faithful nestea iced tea lemon, nor orange juice. had to force myself to down apple juice, which lost it's appeal after some time. until i found a citrus mix (lemon, lime, and grapefruit).
but i was still hungry most of the time, couldn't eat much. i feel sick and on the verge of puking all the time. luckily, i only had to actually do it once. but i was tired and had to lay down most of the day. poor alex wants to play with mommy, and mommy couldn't.
third trimester was even harder. "baby brother" moved so much during the night (harder and more frequent than alex ever did). and i found it even harder to go to sleep. add to that the back pain, restless leg syndrome (RLS, in filipino we call it "pangangalos"), and the frequent urination. and so, insomnia strikes again which led to iron-deficiency anemia, coupled with fatigue, shortness of breath, and ear stuffiness. it's really too much to handle. sigh!
i also had to take magnesium supplement 3x a day to relax my already 1cm open cervix. doctor advised me to slow down and rest most of the day. although sometimes, it's not really an option.
the fact that hubby and i are together didn't change the situation either. i'm still thankful he's around this time. he vacuums, washes the bottles, gives massage from time to time, etc. but it's still hard. most of the time it was just me. alex turning into a terrible two, didn't help the matter. during the day, i still have to do some of the regular household chores while hubby's at work. at night, he usually goes to bed without me. i had to fight off the recurring insomnia by myself.
no offense to all the hubbies out there. but i realized, that no matter how supportive they might be, the moms are really alone in this. pregnancy is really something that only the mom could experience fully, both the good and the bad sides of it. i'm not saying the hubbies cannot do anything. on the contrary, they should be as supportive as possible. sometimes doing a little bit of sacrifice wouldn't hurt either. try to have a little taste of what the mom goes through during these times (and right after). although it would never come close, it's easier when you know that someone is there and understands what you're going through.
i'm almost in my last month, and this may come as a bit emotional (read: hormonal)...
when we found out, i didn't know how to react. i couldn't even remember it now. it's good news, yes, but there also lots of other things to consider. one thing i remember is that i expected it to be easier the second time around. reasons being:
1. been there done that
2. hubby will be with me from beginning to end
however, things don't usually turn out the way we expect them to be.
first trimester proved to be the worst. always hungry, but no appetite. couldn't even think of what i want to eat. couldn't take anything too sweet (oh my poor chocolates!!!) i didn't even like the taste of our ever faithful nestea iced tea lemon, nor orange juice. had to force myself to down apple juice, which lost it's appeal after some time. until i found a citrus mix (lemon, lime, and grapefruit).
but i was still hungry most of the time, couldn't eat much. i feel sick and on the verge of puking all the time. luckily, i only had to actually do it once. but i was tired and had to lay down most of the day. poor alex wants to play with mommy, and mommy couldn't.
third trimester was even harder. "baby brother" moved so much during the night (harder and more frequent than alex ever did). and i found it even harder to go to sleep. add to that the back pain, restless leg syndrome (RLS, in filipino we call it "pangangalos"), and the frequent urination. and so, insomnia strikes again which led to iron-deficiency anemia, coupled with fatigue, shortness of breath, and ear stuffiness. it's really too much to handle. sigh!
i also had to take magnesium supplement 3x a day to relax my already 1cm open cervix. doctor advised me to slow down and rest most of the day. although sometimes, it's not really an option.
the fact that hubby and i are together didn't change the situation either. i'm still thankful he's around this time. he vacuums, washes the bottles, gives massage from time to time, etc. but it's still hard. most of the time it was just me. alex turning into a terrible two, didn't help the matter. during the day, i still have to do some of the regular household chores while hubby's at work. at night, he usually goes to bed without me. i had to fight off the recurring insomnia by myself.
no offense to all the hubbies out there. but i realized, that no matter how supportive they might be, the moms are really alone in this. pregnancy is really something that only the mom could experience fully, both the good and the bad sides of it. i'm not saying the hubbies cannot do anything. on the contrary, they should be as supportive as possible. sometimes doing a little bit of sacrifice wouldn't hurt either. try to have a little taste of what the mom goes through during these times (and right after). although it would never come close, it's easier when you know that someone is there and understands what you're going through.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
house, m.d. season 4 finale
last night i couldn't sleep again. baby brother was so active not to mention i have so many things running inside my mind. anyway, i watched the last few episodes of house to keep me occupied. the season finale really got to me...
sometimes we all want to be in a place where it doesn't hurt. where we don't have to be miserable. somewhere where we can escape from everything. no pain, no worries. where it's not sad. where you don't have to cry at all. but that means leaving everything behind, even those things that we most love.
it all boils down to this: YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT.
sometimes we all want to be in a place where it doesn't hurt. where we don't have to be miserable. somewhere where we can escape from everything. no pain, no worries. where it's not sad. where you don't have to cry at all. but that means leaving everything behind, even those things that we most love.
it all boils down to this: YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT.
Friday, June 27, 2008
"baby brother" is camera shy
this is "baby brother", as alex calls him (we still don't have name for him yet). it's a 2d picture of HIM. yes, 100% sure that it's a boy. we just came from 3d ultrasound. but "baby brother" is camera shy. hiding his face with his tiny arms. so we just saw a side view. he has round face and thin lips like alex. most probably they will look alike :)
watch and enjoy!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
31
31, last year in the calendar as they say, if you know what i mean :D
anyway, the day started out like any other day. except for a birthday greeting on top of the "good morning". had crepe with nutella and mandarin for breakfast, nothing special, just that there were no other things available. including the whipped cream that had gone bad :(
after breakfast, we went to the cottage to pick up strawberries and have lunch. sad thing though, it rained so hard. so mama picked up the strawberries, we had quick lunch, and went back home.
dinner was supposed to be in a fancy restaurant, which turned out to be closed on weekends. sigh! so we tried the nice seafood restaurant near some lake. murphy's law decided that it would be too full of people of course. so let's just go to ikea for dinner and then look around afterwards.
that was my day... happy birthday!
anyway, the day started out like any other day. except for a birthday greeting on top of the "good morning". had crepe with nutella and mandarin for breakfast, nothing special, just that there were no other things available. including the whipped cream that had gone bad :(
after breakfast, we went to the cottage to pick up strawberries and have lunch. sad thing though, it rained so hard. so mama picked up the strawberries, we had quick lunch, and went back home.
dinner was supposed to be in a fancy restaurant, which turned out to be closed on weekends. sigh! so we tried the nice seafood restaurant near some lake. murphy's law decided that it would be too full of people of course. so let's just go to ikea for dinner and then look around afterwards.
that was my day... happy birthday!
"mommy, you're kawing!"
sometimes, when alex is sleepy, hungry or tired, she starts to cry and then says "mommy/daddy, i'm not kawing (read: crying)." she has learned to describe some emotions, like happy and sad.
with all the pregnancy hormones surging inside of me, i cry for little or no reason at all. one time, i was still in bed and felt really sad that i started to cry. alex was standing behind me and realized what's happening. so she said, "mommy, you're kawing! mommy you're sad..." then, she climbed up the bed and cuddled beside me. i was doing all the cuddling, but i felt much better.
this is the thought that keeps me going in times of downfall...
----------------oo0oo----------------
with all the pregnancy hormones surging inside of me, i cry for little or no reason at all. one time, i was still in bed and felt really sad that i started to cry. alex was standing behind me and realized what's happening. so she said, "mommy, you're kawing! mommy you're sad..." then, she climbed up the bed and cuddled beside me. i was doing all the cuddling, but i felt much better.
this is the thought that keeps me going in times of downfall...
Friday, June 06, 2008
singapore, bow!
we just came back last tuesday from a month-long stay in singapore. hubby was assigned there to work on a project. lucky for us, we (alex and myself) were able to tag along :)
it was nice to be back after 4 long years. it was even more special because some of my bestest friends are already based there. however, most of them are working, so we didn't get to spend so much time together. but what time we spent, i enjoyed so much, no matter how little.
to kosa (a.k.a. gail)
thanks for the shrimp lunch, long phone calls, singapore zoo experience, sex and the city date movie, singtel load, help in planning, and for the puto :)
but most, most, specially for having mamigs and joshua. i've never seen alex enjoy so much as when she's playing with mamigs. i still get teary eyed thinking how nice it would be for our children to grow up together and be friends.
to aruray (a.k.a. sharon)
thanks for the visits, phone calls, taking all the blows/jokes, getting lost in mrt's, and of course for picking up the bbq and turon, and the happy meals.
to jermy, sharon, richard and sam
thanks for visiting and bringing the cake too. thanks sam for playing with and being a big sister to alex.
to momee and dadi
nice to see you again after a long time. thanks momee for the help in planning alex's party. gave me great tips :)
to my SA family
thanks for being there on alex's birthday, which also became sort of a reunion. i think mommy and daddy enjoyed even more than alex. :))
special mention to papajimjim, for taking nice pix. i haven't seen them, but i'm sure they would be great.
to chee meng
thanks for taking us out for the best food, and for driving us to alex's party.
it wouldn't have been the same without all of you. i miss you all!
it was nice to be back after 4 long years. it was even more special because some of my bestest friends are already based there. however, most of them are working, so we didn't get to spend so much time together. but what time we spent, i enjoyed so much, no matter how little.
to kosa (a.k.a. gail)
thanks for the shrimp lunch, long phone calls, singapore zoo experience, sex and the city date movie, singtel load, help in planning, and for the puto :)
but most, most, specially for having mamigs and joshua. i've never seen alex enjoy so much as when she's playing with mamigs. i still get teary eyed thinking how nice it would be for our children to grow up together and be friends.
to aruray (a.k.a. sharon)
thanks for the visits, phone calls, taking all the blows/jokes, getting lost in mrt's, and of course for picking up the bbq and turon, and the happy meals.
to jermy, sharon, richard and sam
thanks for visiting and bringing the cake too. thanks sam for playing with and being a big sister to alex.
to momee and dadi
nice to see you again after a long time. thanks momee for the help in planning alex's party. gave me great tips :)
to my SA family
thanks for being there on alex's birthday, which also became sort of a reunion. i think mommy and daddy enjoyed even more than alex. :))
special mention to papajimjim, for taking nice pix. i haven't seen them, but i'm sure they would be great.
to chee meng
thanks for taking us out for the best food, and for driving us to alex's party.
it wouldn't have been the same without all of you. i miss you all!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)