andy and karol

16-month old andy and 9-month old karol

swinging at the aupark playground

my little pirates

today karol and alex have carnival in kindergarten.  in slovak tradition, a carnival is where kids dress up in character. today the biglets are dressed as pirates.  however, due to the cold weather, i didn't get to see them in their full costume and face paint.  i did their face paint but they had to dress in kindergarten.  i could only imagine how they are based on our dress rehearsals. :D

the family that prays together...

our family prays before every meal.  sometimes, when the biglets are too hungry, they come running to the table and asks if they can start eating already. my standard reply is to wait until we have said our prayer.  it worked for some time and then the biglets became smarter.

now instead of asking if they can eat first.  they just go on and pray by themselves so that they can eat ahead.  so one time, i told alex that we should wait until everyone is at the table because "the family that prays together, stays together."  

now karol, having very little self control would run to the table and tell me that he wants to eat already.  then he would start doing the sign of the cross, bring his hands together and then say, "i prayed already!" and then start eating.  (note: he still doesn't know the prayer.)  alex, not wanting to be outsmarted, told karol, "karol, the family that doesn't pray together will not stay together. so you should wait if you want to stay with the family."

bless all the whole world

bed time for the biglets (i.e., alex and karol) is always "interesting." they already have a pretty regular routine. am i being redundant? :D anyways after dinner, there's bath time, fairy tale time, story reading time, and praying time. bath time can really be fun... or NOT!

daddy, gives them bath or shower, depending on what the biglets like, or what daddy is feeling up to. sometimes, there would even be a contest (read: fight) on who will go first. but usual order is andy, karol and alex. youngest to oldest. it's also a question whether they would want to watch the local fairy tales on tv called "vecernicek" before or after bath . it's a never ending negotiation really. it's all a matter of timing, but these biglets argue a lot, that sometimes they would even miss it in lieu of not listening.

watching the fairy tales are not enough. they would still ask daddy to read them a story or two. again, arguments follow whether one or two stories, who will choose the story, short or long story, etc., etc.... sigh! just thinking about it makes my head spin. but when at last daddy decides that they deserve to be read a story, they would still keep asking for more than agreed. it's funny and exhausting at the same time. you really have to pack a lot of patience with these two.

lastly, there's prayer time. alex had memorized the prayer. karol on the other hand usually says just the last words of each line. and sometimes, when we forget to make them pray, karol would get up from bed again, come to us to the living room and say, "i want you to help me to pray." it's kinda sweet, eventhough we know he's just using every excuse to get out of bed. anyways, at the end of the prayer we taught them to pray "bless ___" (each one of us) and at the end they say "bless all the whole world" (sic).

alex had long learned how to improvise. sometimes, when she's in the mood, she blesses a very long list of people. the usual favorites are their grand parents. however, karol was still too young, the last time we went home to philippines, to fully remember my parents. so one time, daddy told me this story when he was helping both biglets to pray together. on the part where they have to bless everyone, karol didn't mention my parents. alex, always helpful, told karol... "karol, if you bless inay, she will give you fried banana!"

on work, money, food and skeleton

today karol had to stay home again. while having snack with alex, he suddenly realized that daddy is not around.

karol: mommy, where is daddy?
mommy: in the office.
karol: why?
mommy: because he has to work.
karol: why?

alex: so that he can earn money.
karol: why?
alex: so that he can buy food for us. so we can eat. otherwise, if we don't eat, then we will become skeleton. and when we become skeleton, then we cannot move.

mommy, was just speechless... i know i tried to explain the concept of work and money to her but didn't realize she has this whole picture in her head. i really have to be careful with my words. :D

why?

i heard another conversation between alex and karol. alex was telling karol some story as usual. probably, to check whether karol understood, alex started asking him...

alex: karol, do you know why?
karol: yes!
alex: so, tell me why!
karol: why!
alex: do you know why?
karol: yes!
alex: so, tell me why!
karol: why!
alex: tell me why!
karol: why!

q & a

lately, karol and alex are always fighting and arguing. after we finished lunch, i was rocking andy to sleep when i heard alex and karol playing quietly in their bedroom. this was so refreshing that i got curious and watched them from afar.

alex was animating some story about dora, boots and isa (from dora the explorer) using her mega blocks figures. karol was intently listening to alex while watching the small figures. the story then turned into a question and answer game which went something like this...

alex: karol, do butterflies have slippers?
karol: yes!
alex: nooooooooo! do butterflies have flower antennas?
karol: yes!
alex: nooooooooo! do butterflies have wings?

karol was about to answer but then he hesitated. probably tired of getting busted all the time, he stopped and thought really hard. finally....

karol: no!
alex: yeeeeeeeeeeees!!!

this really brought tears to my eyes from laughing too hard. poor karol! i knew he had the correct answer but changed his mind at the last minute. :))

three little piglets (read: pooh bears)

alex @ almost 5 months; karol @ almost 6 months; andy @ 3 1/2 months

post-partum: breastfeeding

breast milk is best for babies

to breastfeed or not to breastfeed? that is the question!!! for sure, breastfeeding is best for babies. yes, i believe that. but is it best for mommies too? this is the question that's been bugging me during the last couple of weeks.

in the beginning, i was really excited at the thought of having my baby breastfed 100%. in philippines, it's not a very easy thing to do. from birth, they give formula. unless, you demand it i guess. with alex, it was mixed feeding. it's hard to deny the convenience of just using formula specially during the middle of the night feedings. this and the fact that alex had lactose intolerance, cut my breastfeeding experience short.

here in slovakia, they encourage full-time breastfeeding. i even feel that they would turn their nose up if you even mention formula. anyway, right after birth, the babies room-in with the mom, the moment they are strong enough. by enough, i mean, it could even be right after the delivery. that is, if you feel up to it. but the pressure is really there, so you kinda have no choice.

now, karol is breastfed full-time. it's no joke, but when i say full-time, it means an almost 24-hour job. one breastfeeding session could last from 20 minutes to 1-hour. depending on how cooperative karol is. most of the time, karol falls asleep while feeding. i have to constantly wake him up to try and make sure he feeds enough. although sometimes, it's really impossible to do and i just let him sleep. but not 15 minutes after you put him down, he will wake up and start rooting again. and so, the cycle starts again.

breastfeeding is not only physically but also emotionally stressful. there are times when karol cannot sleep and seems to want to feed all the time. he will fall asleep 5 minutes during the feeding, wakes up when you put him down, cries even when he's picked up, and doesn't stop until he is feeding again. this usually goes on for several hours. there's really nothing much i could do during these times. then i start asking questions. is he getting enough milk? am i not producing enough? is full-time breastfeeding really meant for me? it's so frustrating, that i sometimes just cry...

i sometimes get lucky breaks when he sleeps straight for 2 hours. i'm supposed to use this time catch my own winks. however, these "free" times i have to devote to alex or other chores that need to be done. but as i've said, these are very rare times. most of the time, i just feel sad not being able to spend as much time as i should with alex. sometimes the little time i get to spend with her, ends up with us fighting. i know i should have more patience with her. but it's hard to do when you are tired most of the time.

i know alex feels this lack of attention. she's acting out and have more frequent tantrums. i feel so helpless. there's nothing much i can do. breastfeeding karol is a job only i can do.

i know breastfeeding is a good thing. i just have to keep reminding myself that and hope for things to get better...

post-partum: CS vs. ND

is normal delivery (ND) really better than a caesarian section (CS)? i had already experienced both and i'm not sure i agree with what most people or books say.

i had caesarian section two years ago with alex. i know it was more risky and takes longer time to heal, at least six months, or so they say. but not one week after we were out of the hospital, i was up and about as usual. maybe i shouldn't have forced my body to work so much, but i had no choice, i had to take care of alex.

this time with karol, the labor and delivery took less than two hours. however, it was a very difficult one for me. karol was too big for me, so i sustained a big rupture which required several episiotomy stitches. because of this, i am not able to do some of the very basic things like: sitting, standing (especially for long time), walking, sneezing or coughing, and even cutting my toenails. it's just too painful. the only thing i could do is lay on my side most of the day. or muster all my limited energy, to bear all the pain that i could, to take care of things and run the household.

good thing i have loved ones around to help me. but of course, there are times that i still have to do things myself. however, not being able to sit properly or stand for long time makes it hard to take care of karol, and of course alex. more specifically, it's hard to breastfeed while sitting down. even changing diapers is a painful chore. i couldn't even spend enough time to be with alex. :(

i know that healing will only take 2-3 weeks. however, the two weeks that have already passed felt like eternity. it's so frustrating that i sometimes wish i had another CS instead. i am really tired, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. sigh!

once you pop, you can't stop!

22.08.08 0400H (GMT+1) PLOP!

from deep slumber, i suddenly woke up on my elbows. in my mind the thought suddenly came "what was that?!" i waited a while and a mild contraction started and ended. i waited again... then another began. i woke up hubby and said calmly, "daddy, i think it's time." his eyes grew into two big round balls :)) still i waited ... and suddenly there was a small trickle of liquid.

i stood up. i heard that amniotic fluid flows faster when you're laying down. also i wanted to check if it was really what i thought it was. well, without surprise, it was. then there were stronger contractions which were like just 2 minutes apart. and so i said, "ok, i really think it's time."

hubby immediately called the ob, i spoke with her a bit and she told us to proceed immediately to hospital. of course, first i packed a few things i could get my hands on. i wasn't in a hurry. hubby was the one who was very worried.

around 430am, we arrived in ruzinov hospital. the contractions were getting even stronger. but they wouldn't let me be in a wheel chair. i had to walk to the lift going up to the 9th floor. the resident ob did an ie and found me to be already 7cm dilated. so immediately she sent me to the delivery room. i had to walk to get there, while the contractions are getting stronger. good thing hubby was with me all the time, in lieu of the fact that i don't speak slovak.

shortly, the ob arrived. we tried to ask for pain reliever. but she said it's too late for any of that. the baby is coming very soon. so i had to endure each and every contractions, every millisecond of it which felt endless.

just a few minutes before 600am, karol andrej gushed out so suddenly :)) he cried immediately and a sudden feeling of relief washed over me. the nurses took him for cleaning and a few moments after... there he was. so perfect.

yes, labor and delivery was short but unfortunately i heard the ob say i had a big rupture. so they had to do an episiotomy. the procedure felt longer and more painful than the whole labor and delivery. eventhough they administered local anesthesia, i seem to have felt every needle prick. but all these is such a small price to pay compared to what we now hold in our arms.


click karol andrej's blog for latest updates.

hormonal

i have been planning to blog about my second pregnancy ever since we tested positive. but somehow i have never gotten into it until i posted the 3d ultrasound of "baby brother" (still not 100% sure about the name).

i'm almost in my last month, and this may come as a bit emotional (read: hormonal)...

when we found out, i didn't know how to react. i couldn't even remember it now. it's good news, yes, but there also lots of other things to consider. one thing i remember is that i expected it to be easier the second time around. reasons being:

1. been there done that
2. hubby will be with me from beginning to end

however, things don't usually turn out the way we expect them to be.

first trimester proved to be the worst. always hungry, but no appetite. couldn't even think of what i want to eat. couldn't take anything too sweet (oh my poor chocolates!!!) i didn't even like the taste of our ever faithful nestea iced tea lemon, nor orange juice. had to force myself to down apple juice, which lost it's appeal after some time. until i found a citrus mix (lemon, lime, and grapefruit).

but i was still hungry most of the time, couldn't eat much. i feel sick and on the verge of puking all the time. luckily, i only had to actually do it once. but i was tired and had to lay down most of the day. poor alex wants to play with mommy, and mommy couldn't.

third trimester was even harder. "baby brother" moved so much during the night (harder and more frequent than alex ever did). and i found it even harder to go to sleep. add to that the back pain, restless leg syndrome (RLS, in filipino we call it "pangangalos"), and the frequent urination. and so, insomnia strikes again which led to iron-deficiency anemia, coupled with fatigue, shortness of breath, and ear stuffiness. it's really too much to handle. sigh!

i also had to take magnesium supplement 3x a day to relax my already 1cm open cervix. doctor advised me to slow down and rest most of the day. although sometimes, it's not really an option.

the fact that hubby and i are together didn't change the situation either. i'm still thankful he's around this time. he vacuums, washes the bottles, gives massage from time to time, etc. but it's still hard. most of the time it was just me. alex turning into a terrible two, didn't help the matter. during the day, i still have to do some of the regular household chores while hubby's at work. at night, he usually goes to bed without me. i had to fight off the recurring insomnia by myself.

no offense to all the hubbies out there. but i realized, that no matter how supportive they might be, the moms are really alone in this. pregnancy is really something that only the mom could experience fully, both the good and the bad sides of it. i'm not saying the hubbies cannot do anything. on the contrary, they should be as supportive as possible. sometimes doing a little bit of sacrifice wouldn't hurt either. try to have a little taste of what the mom goes through during these times (and right after). although it would never come close, it's easier when you know that someone is there and understands what you're going through.

"baby brother" is camera shy

this is "baby brother", as alex calls him (we still don't have name for him yet). it's a 2d picture of HIM. yes, 100% sure that it's a boy.

we just came from 3d ultrasound. but "baby brother" is camera shy. hiding his face with his tiny arms. so we just saw a side view. he has round face and thin lips like alex. most probably they will look alike :)

watch and enjoy!