i have never really seen any episode of this series, and yet i have loved the idea and the plot.
the following is the opening credits narration from the series:
Vincent: This is where the wealthy and the powerful rule. It is her world... a world apart from mine. Her name... is Catherine. From the moment I saw her, she captured my heart with her beauty, her warmth, and her courage. I knew then, as I know now, she would change my life... forever.
Catherine Chandler: He comes from a secret place, far below the city streets, hiding his face from strangers, safe from hate and harm. He brought me there to save my life... and now, wherever I go, he is with me, in spirit. For we have a bond stronger than friendship or love. And although we cannot be together, we will never, ever be apart.
this quote really strikes me, specially that last part. i was once in a relationship that somehow correlates to this idea. although it did not last, it was true and sincere. and although we cannot be together, he will forever be in my prayers.
on a lighter note, the theme song of the series reminds me not only of this sad past but also of former crush. he lent me a cassette tape with the song, which was recorded like 6 times on one side. on the other side was another song (i forgot the title) recorded the same number of times. i never got tired of the two songs. i played the tape over and again (do the math on that one!). but, i specially liked the excerpts from "somewhere i have never travelled" by e.e. cummings narrated in the song.
the first time i loved forever
lyrics by melanie safka
melody by lee holdridge
somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near
the first time i loved forever
was when you whispered my name
and i knew at once you loved me
for the me of who i am
the first time i loved forever
i cast all else aside
and i bid my heart to follow
be there no more need to hide
and if wishes and dreams are merely for children
and if love's a tale for fools
i'll live the dream with you
or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;
for all my life and forever
there's a truth i'll always know
when my world divides and shatters
your love is where i'll go
(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands
now, i'm trying to get a hold of a copy of the series. there are 3 seasons in all, but i was only able to get up to episode 13 of season 2. haven't started watching but i know it will be super bitin! *sigh!*
Friday, December 07, 2007
Thursday, November 08, 2007
sprain nightmares
for over a month now, me and hubby have been playing basketball every tuesday. it's really fun, considering the fact that i haven't played for over 10 years. plus, the fact that i played "girl's" basketball. now we play the "real" game, so to speak.
i wasn't so sure about the idea the first time hubby told me about this. i asked repeatedly if it would be a mixed basketball. i have always thought that "girls" (or, women, if you want) and basketball cannot be put together (well, unless it's some professional or varsity sport). much more, men + women does not equate to basketball. but somehow i was proven wrong.
i first played basketball in high school. it was required and i started liking it. then i got a bit more serious when they chose me to play for the annual intramurals. so in college, i decided to take up basketball as one of my physical education courses. and that was the end of it. saying as much, i never could say that i have played "real" baskeball until recently -- and until i sprained my ankle.
i have sprained my ankle before (from basketball practice of course). it was one of the saddest moments of my high school life. it made me lose my spot in the cheering squad, which was next, if not on the same level, to my liking basketball. it makes me smile thinking about that. for now, there's more at stake than not being able to shout and dance -- my precious alex.
scene #1:
minela running to the opponents' court. bam!
minela: "ouch! i missed a step"
falls down with a sprained ankle.
first thoughts: "how could i take care of alex? how could i lift a 12kg baby on one foot?"
(...this is what really happened...)
scene #2:
alex wakes up in the morning. hubby has gone to work. need to pick up baby from the crib.
minela thinks: could i?
alex needs to take a bath.
minela thinks: how? could i stand on one leg for such a long time?
(...i convinced hubby to take a half day sick leave and he took care of alex while i rested...)
scene #3:
hubby needs to go to work. minela needs to take shower. alex asleep on the bed with the bedroom door closed and could wake up soon.
minela thinks: what if i fall on the shower and hurt myself again before alex wakes up. she would cry not being able to get out of the bedroom. and i couldn't come to her. what would i do?
(...hubby went to check out a car with a friend and went to work. no accidents. alex woke up just after minela took shower. sigh!...)
so all turned out well. i'm quickly recovering, i think. could be the adrenaline needed to keep up with alex. now i could feel a bit of strain on my other leg, but just a day after the incident, i was even able to wash alex in the tub. i could also walk much better and the pain ranges from almost gone to tolerable. thanks to danka's advice and to hubby's effort to get me the best gel and bandage. hopefully, i could play again next tuesday. :D
conscience: "yeah, you wish!"
i wasn't so sure about the idea the first time hubby told me about this. i asked repeatedly if it would be a mixed basketball. i have always thought that "girls" (or, women, if you want) and basketball cannot be put together (well, unless it's some professional or varsity sport). much more, men + women does not equate to basketball. but somehow i was proven wrong.
i first played basketball in high school. it was required and i started liking it. then i got a bit more serious when they chose me to play for the annual intramurals. so in college, i decided to take up basketball as one of my physical education courses. and that was the end of it. saying as much, i never could say that i have played "real" baskeball until recently -- and until i sprained my ankle.
i have sprained my ankle before (from basketball practice of course). it was one of the saddest moments of my high school life. it made me lose my spot in the cheering squad, which was next, if not on the same level, to my liking basketball. it makes me smile thinking about that. for now, there's more at stake than not being able to shout and dance -- my precious alex.
---ooOoo---
scene #1:
minela running to the opponents' court. bam!
minela: "ouch! i missed a step"
falls down with a sprained ankle.
first thoughts: "how could i take care of alex? how could i lift a 12kg baby on one foot?"
(...this is what really happened...)
scene #2:
alex wakes up in the morning. hubby has gone to work. need to pick up baby from the crib.
minela thinks: could i?
alex needs to take a bath.
minela thinks: how? could i stand on one leg for such a long time?
(...i convinced hubby to take a half day sick leave and he took care of alex while i rested...)
scene #3:
hubby needs to go to work. minela needs to take shower. alex asleep on the bed with the bedroom door closed and could wake up soon.
minela thinks: what if i fall on the shower and hurt myself again before alex wakes up. she would cry not being able to get out of the bedroom. and i couldn't come to her. what would i do?
(...hubby went to check out a car with a friend and went to work. no accidents. alex woke up just after minela took shower. sigh!...)
---ooOoo---
so all turned out well. i'm quickly recovering, i think. could be the adrenaline needed to keep up with alex. now i could feel a bit of strain on my other leg, but just a day after the incident, i was even able to wash alex in the tub. i could also walk much better and the pain ranges from almost gone to tolerable. thanks to danka's advice and to hubby's effort to get me the best gel and bandage. hopefully, i could play again next tuesday. :D
conscience: "yeah, you wish!"
ponderings
somebody told me that one of the saddest things in this world is living your life just for your own self. what about living your life for others and not having a life of your own? maybe some would call it saintly. that may be right, but it can also be sad sometimes.
is there really no me in we? is it not possible to live your life for others and still have a life of your own? for what will happen if the person you live for is gone? will you have no life at all then? or will you try and start to live your own life from then on? and, will it not be too late?
just pondering...
is there really no me in we? is it not possible to live your life for others and still have a life of your own? for what will happen if the person you live for is gone? will you have no life at all then? or will you try and start to live your own life from then on? and, will it not be too late?
just pondering...
Thursday, November 01, 2007
november 1
Todos los Santos, All Saints' Day -- a day devoted to all the saints, known and unknown. in the philippines, it is one of the biggest holidays. however, unlike the festive christmas and new year holidays, it's not what a small child would normally look forward to.
november 1 has always been some kind of a spooky holiday. ghost stories. booooooo! "magandang gabi bayan" (good evening philippines) scary episode. booooooo! sometimes kids who were born on this day were even teased. maybe it's because it's very close to halloween, which actually falls on the 31st of october in the american tradition. i have never really paid too much attention to the irony of it all. until now...
i never would have thought that this is the kind of holiday that i would miss in my life. i have my new home now, far, far, away, with my loving husband and cutest little angel (with horns *lol*). they have the same tradition of visiting the graves of departed relatives, bringing flowers and lighting candles. and so, my husband went with family, while i stayed home with my daughter.
it used to be that, as a teenager, i would have preferred to stay home. but as family obligations come, i had to go. wriggle my way into the crowd. try not to get lost looking for the graves. light a candle. pray. wait until the candles are not worthy enough to be stolen by kids who collect and sells the wax (supposedly, melted candles).
now, i couldn't go even if i wanted to, and surprisingly i miss it. i just lit a candle and said some silent prayers a few minutes ago. it maybe enough in the true essence of this holiday, but somehow it's not the same.
filipinos love all kinds of holidays. this is also one of those few times where families are reunited. people go back to their home towns to visit their dearly departeds' graves. that's why there's heavy traffic everywhere, most specially on the expressways. in my hometown, san pablo city, traffic is rerouted and tricycle fares are mountain high. but these things don't stop people from coming.
who could resist? what's supposed to be a day of prayer is turned into a festive tiangge (street market) complete with the carnival rides for the young and not so young ones. every year, they sell those very nice set of clay pots and paper mache horses that small kids could ride. of course, as a kid i have always wanted them and wished my parents would let me ride the "unsafe" ferris wheel. well, not all wishes come true. good thing i could always collect the melted candles, and form them into balls with a kaleidoscope of colors and scents. Most importantly, compete with my cousins for the biggest ball.
sigh! those were the old days. today really made me a bit nostalgic, and maybe even spiritual. but then again, maybe it's just the clay pots, paper mache horses, ferris wheels and balls of melted candle. all the same, i have to get used to being far away from the place i used to call home. but, who knows? maybe one day, i could even pioneer a wax ball competition in slovakia. hmmm...
november 1 has always been some kind of a spooky holiday. ghost stories. booooooo! "magandang gabi bayan" (good evening philippines) scary episode. booooooo! sometimes kids who were born on this day were even teased. maybe it's because it's very close to halloween, which actually falls on the 31st of october in the american tradition. i have never really paid too much attention to the irony of it all. until now...
==o0o==
i never would have thought that this is the kind of holiday that i would miss in my life. i have my new home now, far, far, away, with my loving husband and cutest little angel (with horns *lol*). they have the same tradition of visiting the graves of departed relatives, bringing flowers and lighting candles. and so, my husband went with family, while i stayed home with my daughter.
it used to be that, as a teenager, i would have preferred to stay home. but as family obligations come, i had to go. wriggle my way into the crowd. try not to get lost looking for the graves. light a candle. pray. wait until the candles are not worthy enough to be stolen by kids who collect and sells the wax (supposedly, melted candles).
now, i couldn't go even if i wanted to, and surprisingly i miss it. i just lit a candle and said some silent prayers a few minutes ago. it maybe enough in the true essence of this holiday, but somehow it's not the same.
==o0o==
filipinos love all kinds of holidays. this is also one of those few times where families are reunited. people go back to their home towns to visit their dearly departeds' graves. that's why there's heavy traffic everywhere, most specially on the expressways. in my hometown, san pablo city, traffic is rerouted and tricycle fares are mountain high. but these things don't stop people from coming.
who could resist? what's supposed to be a day of prayer is turned into a festive tiangge (street market) complete with the carnival rides for the young and not so young ones. every year, they sell those very nice set of clay pots and paper mache horses that small kids could ride. of course, as a kid i have always wanted them and wished my parents would let me ride the "unsafe" ferris wheel. well, not all wishes come true. good thing i could always collect the melted candles, and form them into balls with a kaleidoscope of colors and scents. Most importantly, compete with my cousins for the biggest ball.
==o0o==
sigh! those were the old days. today really made me a bit nostalgic, and maybe even spiritual. but then again, maybe it's just the clay pots, paper mache horses, ferris wheels and balls of melted candle. all the same, i have to get used to being far away from the place i used to call home. but, who knows? maybe one day, i could even pioneer a wax ball competition in slovakia. hmmm...
Saturday, September 08, 2007
"mantika" and colored jeepneys
while i was out on the veranda i saw a boy and a girl who was maybe between 11 to 13 years old. the boy was holding two shopping bags from tesco. suddenly i remembered the time we visited my aunt's family in olangapo around the same age.
my uncle was in the US navy and was stationed in subic, which used to be a military base. everyone of my cousins were there. it was the farthest i have ever been from home at that age. it was exciting because everything was new to me.
i was not a sheltered child as you might think, but i have never been to a wet market by myself at that time. imagine my surprise when my aunt asked me and my cousin nonoy, who was younger only by months, to go to the market in a town i barely knew. i was really scared to go but i was more scared of my aunt. nonoy supposedly knew which jeepneys to ride. he says it's easy, and the jeepneys have specific colors for specific routes. blue, green, pink, you name it. so we went.
we had to buy all sort of things that filled a basket bigger than both of us, from fruits to cooking oil. believe it or not, the hardest thing was buying the cooking oil. we kept asking for "langis" (oil) and people kept pointing us to auto shops, saying they don't have it. they thought we wanted to buy motor oil. it was kinda funny but we finally managed to get a bottle of cooking oil in the end. it turned out that unlike in the south, they strictly say "mantika" to mean cooking oil. i am not so sure if my vocabulary is right, but i always thought "mantika" was used cooking oil or fat produced after cooking. :))
we got lost when we took the pink jeepney on the way back home. it turned out nonoy didn't know the way so well at all. but we managed to get home in the end. even if it took us more time. it was time well spent on one of the exciting adventures of our childhood.
my uncle was in the US navy and was stationed in subic, which used to be a military base. everyone of my cousins were there. it was the farthest i have ever been from home at that age. it was exciting because everything was new to me.
i was not a sheltered child as you might think, but i have never been to a wet market by myself at that time. imagine my surprise when my aunt asked me and my cousin nonoy, who was younger only by months, to go to the market in a town i barely knew. i was really scared to go but i was more scared of my aunt. nonoy supposedly knew which jeepneys to ride. he says it's easy, and the jeepneys have specific colors for specific routes. blue, green, pink, you name it. so we went.
we had to buy all sort of things that filled a basket bigger than both of us, from fruits to cooking oil. believe it or not, the hardest thing was buying the cooking oil. we kept asking for "langis" (oil) and people kept pointing us to auto shops, saying they don't have it. they thought we wanted to buy motor oil. it was kinda funny but we finally managed to get a bottle of cooking oil in the end. it turned out that unlike in the south, they strictly say "mantika" to mean cooking oil. i am not so sure if my vocabulary is right, but i always thought "mantika" was used cooking oil or fat produced after cooking. :))
we got lost when we took the pink jeepney on the way back home. it turned out nonoy didn't know the way so well at all. but we managed to get home in the end. even if it took us more time. it was time well spent on one of the exciting adventures of our childhood.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
bespwen
i know i haven't written anything for a long time in this blog, then i got inspired after a visit from one of my best friends. i have had gained so many best friends in my life. so, this one is dedicated to all best friends in the world. but it's about one particularly "makulit" bespwen.
i'm not the type of person who writes or calls my friends regularly, but it's amazing how we can always pick up where we left off. it's like we weren't ever apart for a long time at all. even though it doesn't always turn out to be good.
i could still remember how we became best friends like it was yesterday, and it's kinda funny how it happened. we started as trainees for an IT company in june 1999. there were 40 of us and we were divided into groups of four. she belonged to the group in front of us. however, she kept joining our group during the lectures. i didn't understand it back then. now i know, that it's because i'm this very charming person who she wanted to be her best friend. :D
anyway, so this "makulit", never-runs-out-of-energy girl comes with me everywhere i go. she goes with me for cigarette breaks even if she doesn't smoke. she pesters me with boylet issues, with poems (mine or hers), and weirdly with my "good" singing of cranberries' dreams. it was almost crazy, specially the part about my singing. i was already thinking that maybe she's a lunatic-stalker-type of girl (which later on i learned to be true *lol*). then, the craziest of things happened...
one day, one of her best friends (a guy, who i found very cute) visited her. it was just after lunch and i was on my way back to the training room. then, she stopped me and introduced me to him. she said, "ito nga pala ang best friend ko dito" (this is my best friend here.) well, being the nice and sweet girl that i am, i couldn't deny it and make her lose face. so i nodded, and shook the cute guy's hand. and that became a binding contract. poor me!
now, i invited her to my home. fed her and all. then what does she do? spill out the pre-husband-secrets (read: embarassing moments) to my hubby. she's so, so bad. now, he has weapons against me. argh!
if only i had not signed that contract. now, if there's a way to cancel the contract between best friends, i don't have to do things, like:
* weeping or panicking when calling at odd hours;
* listening to incessant tales about other people, boys, or life's endless questions;
* crying and bearing my heart out about my sad pathetic life;
* hearing things that are painful to hear, even if they are the truth; or
* doing a lot of other things i still couldn't figure why best friends do (like "dance, dance revolution"!)
so you see, best friends are really painfully the best!
i'm not the type of person who writes or calls my friends regularly, but it's amazing how we can always pick up where we left off. it's like we weren't ever apart for a long time at all. even though it doesn't always turn out to be good.
i could still remember how we became best friends like it was yesterday, and it's kinda funny how it happened. we started as trainees for an IT company in june 1999. there were 40 of us and we were divided into groups of four. she belonged to the group in front of us. however, she kept joining our group during the lectures. i didn't understand it back then. now i know, that it's because i'm this very charming person who she wanted to be her best friend. :D
anyway, so this "makulit", never-runs-out-of-energy girl comes with me everywhere i go. she goes with me for cigarette breaks even if she doesn't smoke. she pesters me with boylet issues, with poems (mine or hers), and weirdly with my "good" singing of cranberries' dreams. it was almost crazy, specially the part about my singing. i was already thinking that maybe she's a lunatic-stalker-type of girl (which later on i learned to be true *lol*). then, the craziest of things happened...
one day, one of her best friends (a guy, who i found very cute) visited her. it was just after lunch and i was on my way back to the training room. then, she stopped me and introduced me to him. she said, "ito nga pala ang best friend ko dito" (this is my best friend here.) well, being the nice and sweet girl that i am, i couldn't deny it and make her lose face. so i nodded, and shook the cute guy's hand. and that became a binding contract. poor me!
now, i invited her to my home. fed her and all. then what does she do? spill out the pre-husband-secrets (read: embarassing moments) to my hubby. she's so, so bad. now, he has weapons against me. argh!
if only i had not signed that contract. now, if there's a way to cancel the contract between best friends, i don't have to do things, like:
* weeping or panicking when calling at odd hours;
* listening to incessant tales about other people, boys, or life's endless questions;
* crying and bearing my heart out about my sad pathetic life;
* hearing things that are painful to hear, even if they are the truth; or
* doing a lot of other things i still couldn't figure why best friends do (like "dance, dance revolution"!)
so you see, best friends are really painfully the best!
Friday, January 26, 2007
murphy's law (not again!!!)
25 january 2006. NAIA airport.
CASE #1: mile long check-in queue + 13kg excess luggage + strict attendant = pissed-off passenger
action #1: beg - REJECTED
action #2: argue - REJECTED
action #3: hand carry an extra 3kg together with my 9kg baby and 6kg baby bag - REJECTED (9.5kg excess)
action #4: leave behind beloved roller blades + cry from frustration - ACCEPTED (6.5kg excess, free of charge)
CASE #2: delayed luggage
action #1: wait
action #2: file complaint
action #3: wait (again!) until the following day
CASE #3: lost video cam
action #1: frustration
action #2: file complaint - NO REPLY
action #3: nothing else to do but weep
CASE #1: mile long check-in queue + 13kg excess luggage + strict attendant = pissed-off passenger
action #1: beg - REJECTED
action #2: argue - REJECTED
action #3: hand carry an extra 3kg together with my 9kg baby and 6kg baby bag - REJECTED (9.5kg excess)
action #4: leave behind beloved roller blades + cry from frustration - ACCEPTED (6.5kg excess, free of charge)
CASE #2: delayed luggage
action #1: wait
action #2: file complaint
action #3: wait (again!) until the following day
CASE #3: lost video cam
action #1: frustration
action #2: file complaint - NO REPLY
action #3: nothing else to do but weep
Saturday, January 20, 2007
maybe it's just one of those days...
"LIFE IS HARD."
that's the ultimate truth. how many times have you heard this phrase? how many times did you ask yourself why it is so? and how many times did you ever wish to be able to run away from it all?
all you ever wanted is to be happy. but sometimes you will think that happiness is just not meant for you. that all you can do is to accept everything that life throws at you. and just hope that some days will be better than the rest, with that sweet little angel "watching over" you.
that's the ultimate truth. how many times have you heard this phrase? how many times did you ask yourself why it is so? and how many times did you ever wish to be able to run away from it all?
all you ever wanted is to be happy. but sometimes you will think that happiness is just not meant for you. that all you can do is to accept everything that life throws at you. and just hope that some days will be better than the rest, with that sweet little angel "watching over" you.
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