Sunday, September 14, 2008

post-partum: breastfeeding

breast milk is best for babies

to breastfeed or not to breastfeed? that is the question!!! for sure, breastfeeding is best for babies. yes, i believe that. but is it best for mommies too? this is the question that's been bugging me during the last couple of weeks.

in the beginning, i was really excited at the thought of having my baby breastfed 100%. in philippines, it's not a very easy thing to do. from birth, they give formula. unless, you demand it i guess. with alex, it was mixed feeding. it's hard to deny the convenience of just using formula specially during the middle of the night feedings. this and the fact that alex had lactose intolerance, cut my breastfeeding experience short.

here in slovakia, they encourage full-time breastfeeding. i even feel that they would turn their nose up if you even mention formula. anyway, right after birth, the babies room-in with the mom, the moment they are strong enough. by enough, i mean, it could even be right after the delivery. that is, if you feel up to it. but the pressure is really there, so you kinda have no choice.

now, karol is breastfed full-time. it's no joke, but when i say full-time, it means an almost 24-hour job. one breastfeeding session could last from 20 minutes to 1-hour. depending on how cooperative karol is. most of the time, karol falls asleep while feeding. i have to constantly wake him up to try and make sure he feeds enough. although sometimes, it's really impossible to do and i just let him sleep. but not 15 minutes after you put him down, he will wake up and start rooting again. and so, the cycle starts again.

breastfeeding is not only physically but also emotionally stressful. there are times when karol cannot sleep and seems to want to feed all the time. he will fall asleep 5 minutes during the feeding, wakes up when you put him down, cries even when he's picked up, and doesn't stop until he is feeding again. this usually goes on for several hours. there's really nothing much i could do during these times. then i start asking questions. is he getting enough milk? am i not producing enough? is full-time breastfeeding really meant for me? it's so frustrating, that i sometimes just cry...

i sometimes get lucky breaks when he sleeps straight for 2 hours. i'm supposed to use this time catch my own winks. however, these "free" times i have to devote to alex or other chores that need to be done. but as i've said, these are very rare times. most of the time, i just feel sad not being able to spend as much time as i should with alex. sometimes the little time i get to spend with her, ends up with us fighting. i know i should have more patience with her. but it's hard to do when you are tired most of the time.

i know alex feels this lack of attention. she's acting out and have more frequent tantrums. i feel so helpless. there's nothing much i can do. breastfeeding karol is a job only i can do.

i know breastfeeding is a good thing. i just have to keep reminding myself that and hope for things to get better...

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mommy keep up the great job, you're doing great :* And Karol is doing great as well, you know he's 1 month younger from Risko, but he'll soon catch-up with his weight. Now it's Risko 4.9 kg and Karol 4.3 kg... so ... that's the answer to questions about lack of milk and that's also the challenge we are facing, just kidding :) Also remember that both the pedia and her nurse fell in love with Karol, and especially emphasized his beautiful skin so all of that is also thanks to you and your efforts :)) I hope the cooperation between the feedie-sleepyhead and the feeder will really get easier very soon as the pedia said. You are doing the right thing :*

Anonymous said...

Hi mommy of the beautiful children :)
I finally got to read all your blogs and must say I'm so proud of you. I know how difficult breastfeeding can be after you had stitches and the baby seems to be hungry all the time but I'm sure it's worth it. Ninka is now almost one year old and I still cannot stop breastfeeding her. After a few difficulties at the beginning, for me this is the most precious time spent with her. I hope you both find the right 'rhythm' and will completely enjoy it. You're doing great! :)
take care

gfbaby said...

thanks, janka! it really is a treasure to have such experience. it's getting a bit better and easier as time goes by. but we still need more practice. :)

blue_palito said...

"he will fall asleep 5 minutes during the feeding, wakes up when you put him down, cries even when he's picked up, and doesn't stop until he is feeding again."

"i sometimes get lucky breaks when he sleeps straight for 2 hours"

Exactly the same as my prob with Pompy:(

gfbaby said...

don't worry bespwen, better days will come. it will improve as days go by. it may be slow at first, but trust me we'll get there ;)